INDEPENDENCE DAY: Recollections of 7/4/05

CONTROL is the key element in abusive relationships, even or especially when the abusive partner has serious mental issues. Since I had nothing to hide, initially I went along with his extreme "monitoring" rationalizing it would lead to building trust. Once I began to secumb to him, to give him my power, he took more...until he took it all. I escaped Darren Woodley on May 31, 2005. After a month in the hospital, I was discharged to a respiratory rehab facility where I learned to breathe, eat, and regain range of motion. Even under this voluntary "institutionalization" I felt the promise of INDEPENDENCE. Indeed it was strange to spend 5 months in what most would call a nursing home, a facility few would leave to regain a somewhat normal life. Most would consider it depressing to visit there, and far isolated from family and friends, only my bio-mom and Aunt Sandy visited me at Bel Aire (Tacoma Washington). Many staff there saw in me, the spark of one who would regain. They told me they saw angels at my bedside, guarding me while I slept. They believed in me, protected and inspired me. I'm still in contact with some of these amazing people and delight in reminding them how important their encouragement, belief and support was. Now four years into the power reclamation journey, with the sentencing complete, with freedom I can finally speak out. COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT of Woodley, yet blessed by the lessons learned. This Fourth of July, you may have concerns for someone who seems to be under the control of another...someone who is isolated and not participating or enjoying festivities as they did previously. Be watchful, mindful. Tho its likely when asked, they will protect their abuser with excuses that don't make sense, remember the National DV Hotline awaits your call. YOUR caring makes all the difference. 1-800-799-SAFE. Have a safe and Fabulous Fourth of July. I LOVE YOU!