Trusting the polygraph...Julie Ann Gonzalez' husband takes the test

On May 2, 2010, this survivor was in the studio audience for the taping of Dr. Phil's episode exploring what his marketing people refer to as "Runaway Moms". The program scheduled to air on May 7th examines the dissappearance of Julie Ann Gonzalez on March 26, 2010. When I saw her missing person poster pop up among my network just over a week ago...something didn't gel.

My intuition tells me Julie Ann is no runaway. She was last seen by her estranged husband, George. Julie's mother and aunt were guests on Dr. Phil's show; her husband, George and his mother were present as well as experts including CBS legal analyst, Lisa Bloom and former FBI Agent and polygraph expert, Jack Trimarco.

Julie's mother, Sandra, and her aunt believe her estranged husband, George, knows more than he's telling. George is the last person to have seen Julie Ann, when she dropped their daughter for visitation. George's mother lept to his defense. They implied Julie Ann may have skipped out like Tiffany Tehan, the Colorado pastor's daughter and young mother/wife who checked out on her family without a word, surfacing several days later on a Miami beach with her married boyfriend.

Given Julie and George's estranged relationship, reports of physical abuse, and Julie's devotion to her daughter, George was named "a person of interest". Julie's family is concerned so much time passed since her dissappearance, frustrated her trail may be "going cold". Not suprisingly, Lisa Bloom's perception was that George knows more than he is telling. Dr. Phil explained that while polygraph results may not be admissable in court, when both parties agree and stipulate to results in advance, they may be admitted.

With former FBI agent/Polygraph expert Jack Trimarco on hand to administer, Dr. Phil persuaded George to agree to be tested! Given the opportunity to clear his name or possibly reveal involvement or knowledge regarding Julie Ann's dissappearance, George complied. For approximately 90 minutes, Trimarco and George established and agreed to the parameters of the test, then continued with very specific questions aiding the investigation and discovery in Julie's dissappearance.

The longer a person remains missing, the more grave the situation becomes. Those who remain "at large" are in serious peril and at-risk for human trafficking due to a growing demand for cheap labor and/or commercial sex.

Check your local listings for Friday, May 7th (in Los Angeles, at 4 PM on channel 2 or at 7 PM on channel 9) for the airing of this episode including the results of George's polygraph test. Kudos, Dr. Phil, for facilitating this discovery. The airing of the May 7th episode included polygraph administration, tho the sealed envelope results will not be aired until May 14th. Dedicated workers at the missing persons hotlines across the US and abroad. In California, call at 800 222-FIND. Additional information regarding abuse or trafficking, including therapy-free, post-traumatic recovery is available at http://www.survivoronamission.org/. Be Aware, be safe, and stay blessed.

Tragedy in Tacoma

Reading the Seattle Examiner story of Jennifer Paulson, a special ed. elementary teacher in Pierce Co. Washington, this survivor is regularly reminded how dangerous it is to live in WA State. After years of being stalked, Jennifer finally obtained a restraining order a year and a half ago. That order violated, her assailant was arrested last week, bailing out on Monday for 10K. On Friday 2/26/2010 @ 7:30 AM, she was shot on school grounds in Tacoma, Washington.

Same city where former police chief David Brame killed his wife, Crystal Judson Brame, as their children watched. Crystal had filed for divorce, the documents specifying Chief Brame held a loaded gun to her head and threatened her...that the only way she was leaving him, was dead. The City Manager called the documents "a private matter". The lack of protocol for protection of domestic violence in Washington puts all residents in extreme risk, even more so when the accused is a public safety worker who carries a gun on the job. Though Crystal's family has made remarkable strides in terms of awareness in the state since she was shot in 2003, there's still a long way to go.

Last week HB 2777 extended was passed in WA State, constituents grateful for any recognition or support for domestic violence survivors, still a far cry from what 46 other states would consider reasonable. How many lives will be lost in Washington State before they have a paradigm shift in what is considered a "private matter"?

As this survivor made way to a Seattle ER after strangulation in 2005, a "private matter" protocol did not compell local authorities to even take a police report after verifying severity of injuries would require extended hospitalization...no immediate danger they said.

Advocates in Washington tell me to push for legislation, without local dv ordinances and protocol, would further endanger those at greatest risk. I ask readers to take a few moments of quiet reflection, focussed energy and attention to this dark cloud that engulfs the State of Washington. May its leaders collaborate to quickly enact the changes its residents deserve. May Jennifer Paulson's family find comfort in their sorrow, may Crystal Judson rest in peace. Too many have paid with their lives for this good old boy network and private matter designation. May it end here.

Reader comments always welcome and honored. My heart goes out to each of you, I love and thank you for your support. Stay blessed.

HB 2778-WA State Call to Action

As regular readers know, inconsistency in state reporting laws is an issue I'm passionate about, having experienced for myself the deficiencies in WASHINGTON State laws (that allowed my perpetrator to continue violating other women while I was hospitalized, recovering from near fatal injuries). In the last legislative session, Washington finally included a provision under which police would be engaged WHEN A VICTIM ARRIVES UNCONCSCIOUS.

NOW, Washington House Bill 2778, which is presently stalled in Ways and Means Committee seeks to make WA State law more consistent with the rest of the country in terms of how law enforcement agencies handle domestic violence reports.

From this survivor's perspective, the key points/provisions of House Bill 2778:

Make it illegal for someone restrained by an order of protection to possess firearms.

Clarifies circumstances where a teen in a dating relationship is eligible for an order of protection.

Establishes a process to reconcile court orders with different provisions on orders of protection. AND

Clarifies protocol when domestic violence is experienced by Washington residents out of jurisdiction.

For those of us living in California and other states leading the way in terms of protection, it is inconceivable that this inconsistence exists in the U.S. We do not have equal states of protection.

Washington residents are encouraged to contact their representative, urging them to move HB 2778 out of Ways and Means by this call to action. I thank you for your awareness and support. Together we will make a change, we will make a difference!

Linville, Kelli (D) Chair
42 (360) 786-7854
Linville.kelli@leg.wa.gov

Ericks, Mark (D) Vice Chair
1 (360) 786-7900
ericks.mark@leg.wa.gov

Sullivan, Pat (D) Vice Chair
47 (360) 786-7858
Sullivan.pat@leg.wa.gov

Alexander, Gary (R) *
20 (360) 786-7990
Alexander.gary@leg.wa.gov

Bailey, Barbara (R) **
10 (360) 786-7914
Bailey.barbara@leg.wa.gov

Dammeier, Bruce (R) **
25 (360) 786-7948
Dammeier.bruce@leg.wa.gov

Chandler, Bruce (R)
15 (360) 786-7960
Chandler.bruce@leg.wa.gov

Cody, Eileen (D)
34 (360) 786-7978
Cody.eileen@leg.wa.gov

Conway, Steve (D)
29 (360) 786-7906
Conway.steve@leg.wa.gov

Darneille, Jeannie (D)
27 (360) 786-7974
Darneille.jeannie@leg.wa.gov

Haigh, Kathy (D)
35 (360) 786-7966
Haigh.kathy@leg.wa.gov

Hinkle, Bill (R)
13 (360) 786-7808
Hinkle.bill@leg.wa.gov

Hunt, Sam (D)
22 (360) 786-7992
Hunt.sam@leg.wa.gov

Hunter, Ross (D)
48 (360) 786-7936
Hunter.ross@leg.wa.gov

Kagi, Ruth (D)
32 (360) 786-7910
Kagi.ruth@leg.wa.gov

Kenney, Phyllis Gutierrez (D)
46 (360) 786-7818
Kenny.phyllis@leg.wa.gov

Kessler, Lynn (D)
24 (360) 786-7904
Kessler.lynn@leg.wa.gov

Pettigrew, Eric (D)
37 (360) 786-7838
Pettigrew.eric@leg.wa.gov

Priest, Skip (R)
30 (360) 786-7830
Priest.skip@leg.wa.gov

Ross, Charles (R)
14 (360) 786-7856
Ross.charles@leg.wa.gov

Schmick, Joe (R)
9 (360) 786-7844
Schmick.joe@leg.wa.gov

Seaquist, Larry (D)
26 (360) 786-7802
Seaquist.larry@leg.wa.gov

*Ranking Minority Member **Asst. Ranking Minority Member

CA DV funding restored, under pressure

On October 21, 2009 CA Gov. Schwarzenegger signed SBX3 13 restoring $16.3 million for domestic violence shelters and emergency programs, under public and media scrutiny. Schwarzenegger said he "was proud to sign the bi-partisan legislation" which state legislators put in front of him only after he slashed the entire budget ($500 million) for all programs funded under the state's Department of Public Health. The new legislation provides $16.3 million of funds the governor had allocated to his Alternative Fuel Fund be BORROWED with interest, so that domestic violence shelters and emergency programs can be minimally sustained for 2009-10.

My shelter affiliates tell me they anticipate in effect, approximately 70% of the State operating funds in comparison to 2008-09. I've been watching and listening closely. These shelters are doing an excellent job in tightening their belts without sacrificing client services (at least here in LA where they are supplemented by public support...not so much in rural CA).

It has warmed my heart to see the generosity of individuals, making contributions and organizing events NOW, more than ever, when shelters need community support. Not only the celebrities who get plenty of exposure for their good deeds, which are most welcome and appreciated...but also the community members and board members who are quietly making an incredible difference and who have kept shelters open in many parts of our state when there was NO state money allocated. These are the leaders I am proud to serve. This is the community I am proud to serve.

On 10/23, on the steps of the Los Angeles City Hall, Activists unite in a Call to Action, spearheaded by Eve Ensler, of Vagina Monologues fame. We will stand together, invoking First Amendment rights, honoring the protection and programs bought with the blood of our lost loved ones. Readers are invited back for a follow up on the Call to Action. Your conscious, positive thoughts and energy are appreciated as we seek to inspire increased public and corporate support. Our thoughts are with you and your loved ones, that each of you be aware and be safe.

First Amendment trumps Terminator

On October 23, 2009 at 9AM in Los Angeles, activists unite, invoking our first amendment rights in protest of Gov. Schwarzenegger's "muscle-bound veto" slashing funds for programs under the California Department of Public Health. Spearheading this V-Day CALL TO ACTION, is Eve Ensler of Vagina Monologues fame. Denise Brown is scheduled to participate, as well hundreds of actvists without celebrity status. I've spoken personally with Denise; we share outrage regarding our governor's knife-wielding justification that "cuts have to be made".

Governor Schwarzenegger's video added insult to injury, and as Eve Ensler stated in the Huffington Post, "has always had contempt for the vulnerable". Nearing the end of his term, his approval rating sinks to 28%. See article the terminator is back by Eve Ensler. Join me and other activists in protest, honoring past progress bought with the blood of countless homicide victims. Family members and stakeholders have vowed lost lives will not be in vain. Although many are supporting numerous events this Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we gather together to stand in protest... infusing positive energy to restore life-saving programs. Remember the national hotline is available to serve YOU at 1-800-799-SAFE. Be aware and Be safe. YOU are loved; your comments are always welcome.

3rd Annual National Day of Remembrance

September 25th is the day set aside each year to honor those lives lost due to homicide. Many resulting from domestic violence, gang violence, and includes fallen police officers. Tributes across the country honored those lost and brought families together to comfort one another. I had the privilege of attending one of the largest ceremonies in the country, in downtown Los Angeles, then driving to Ventura County to experience their more intimate memorial. Each touched my heart deeply, in different ways yet with common elements. Overwhelming for me, as a survivor of attempted murder, was that I had the privilege to be there...that my family members weren't there remembering my life. In Los Angeles and Oxnard, I was able to connect with less fortunate families honoring their loved ones. I had the opportunity to meet Dr. Henry Nicholas, III who co-authored and was instrumental in the passage of Marsy's KLaw, the Crime Victims Bill of Rights.
Humbly, he says call me Nick. Since his sister was murdered in 1983 in an upscale SoCal neighborhood, he and his family have made the crime victims bill of rights their live's work.
Nick explained that his sister's killer was released on bail pending trial (their family was not notified) and his mother encountered the killer in the grocery store!When previously the only victim's right was restitution...thanks to Marsy's Law, in California we have the right to be informed and participate in hearings. A movement underway for ratification of a national constitutional amendment, "Nick" is leading the charge...physically and financially. Visit www.MarsysLAWforALL.org for additonal information.
Among other speakers included Cal. Attorney General Jerry Brown, Sheriff Lee Baca, LAPD Police Chief Jim McDonald. Family members carried signs with pictures of fallen loved ones, hundreds of pairs of shoes lined the stage. The ceremony concluded with a release of doves and families marching thru the plaza behind the courthouse at Temple/Grand. Sadly, so many were acknowledged, reading the roster of those honored was lengthy and did not allow for connection with each family's story. In addition to Marsys Law, other non-profit organizations present included Parents of Murdered Children, Women Against Gun Violence, Drive By Agony, Friends & Families of Murder Victims, Justice for Homicide Victims, Loved Ones Healing Center, Crime Stoppers (annonymous tip line), Unity and Peace (Scholarship Fund) and countless government agencies. The impact and scope of this event was staggering.
In Ventura County, the event was coordinated by Parents of Murdered Children. In this community entire families came out to honor their loved ones. Each homicide victim was individually honored, not just by a reading of their names. Each family who experienced loss due to homicide, released a dove in their memory followed by a big-screen movie collage highlighting each life lost. Denise Brown (sister of Nicole Brown Simpson) spoke of her loss, which is classified as an unsolved homicide. Denise spoke about the first time she met OJ Simpson and her sister's 17 year relationship with him. As sisters, Denise and Nicole were extremely tight; still Nicole didn't confide in Denise. Nicole did keep journals, found after her murder, describing her 17 year horror. Denise spoke about the teachings she provided her son and Nicole's children to break the cycle of violence. Brown's close long-time friend, Denise Ballester, serves as Executive Director to the Nicole Brown Foundation. The organization is focusing on delivering education and program services moreso than granting funds to other non-profit organizations. I look forward to working closely with Denise Brown and Denise Ballester to raise funds and awareness for prevention of domestic violence.
Throughout the day, it was absolutely evident those most active in the movement are not simply doing their jobs, they and their families are stakeholders for life. The price paid in blood of their lost loved ones, these mothers, sisters, fathers, brothers, sons and daughters dedicate their lives to making a difference. As a survivor of attempted murder, my own horrific experience cannot even come close to theirs. My day concluded in deep humility and gratitude. I look forward to building the heartfelt connections made 9/25/09 and how I may support their valiant efforts. EVERY LIFE MATTERS. WE WILL NOT FORGET. BE AWARE and BE SAFE. YOU are loved...consider yourself hugged.

California sacrifices ounce of prevention...$500 million

Current economic challenges have forced difficult choices. Los Angeles City Attorney Eve Sheedy says "When you take the cost of arresting, trying and incarcerating for serious physical crime and homicide, and comparing it to shelters, we're getting an unbelievable cost benefit." Although state budgets are tight, only a handful of states recommended cuts to domestic violence prevention programs. Sadly, California was one of thosse states. Our legislators approved a 20% cut across the board to programs funded by the Department of Public Health. Not just speaking figuratively here, I'm embarrased our governor ADDED INSULT TO INJURY by invoking line item veto completely slashing state funding for all Dept. of Public Health programs...FIVE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS. That was California's share in the ounce of prevention!
While families impacted pay the human costs, and the costs Ms. Sheedy spoke of in terms of arrest, trial and incarceration cannot be accurately measured, according to the National Institute on Domestic Violence, the cost to the US Workplace is 67 Billion dollars annually. These costs include 1,750,000 lost work days, tardiness, loss of productivity and 5 billion in direct medical costs. Of that 67 billion dollar annual cost, we can only imagine California's share is. This isn't rocket science...California's percentage of the national economy is significant. Obviously its multiple billions. Sue Else, President of the National Network to End Domestic Violence called our governor's action "RECKLESS".
Eliminating California's share in the ounce of prevention will have a ripple effect on the cost of the pound of cure, in California and across the country for years to come. Like many other states, California has achieved a reduction in crime statistics resulting from dv since Nicole Brown Simpson's execution brought awareness to the forefront. Progress achieved was bought with BLOOD, with the stroke of a pen, California's light and example fade under the guise of budget.
Shelters are left scrambling for funding from foundations and private contributors to keep their doors open. Several have already closed, dozens more are teetering on the brink of closure. Since August 7th, 6 victims with 8 children have been turned away in Madera County where the only option for these moms and their traumatized children is the local resuce mission, which houses mostly single men and offers NO protection.
Now more than ever, the non-profit organizations operating shelters need community support. Fortunately, California is not one of the states that considers domestic violence a pre-existing condition in terms of insurance. Employee Assistance programs can be enhanced to include prevention programs, just as they serve those overcoming drug, alcohol or gambling addictions. Survivor On A Mission is working with under-funded shelter partners to assist corporations in making these enhancements. As they extend their expertise and services (for which they cannot advertise) they will be compensated by corporate fees funneled back to participating, advising agencies.
Survivor On A Mission seeks strategy and sequencing expertise to deliver and refine valuable service to California at this most critical time in our history. September 25th is the 3rd Annual National Day of Remembrance, honoring lives lost through homicide. Memorial events are taking place across the country. In Los Angeles, join me at 500 W. Temple in the Plaza area behind the Hall of Administration at 11AM. Your positive thoughts and energy are appreciated. Awareness is the first step in safety. The National DV Hotline is available to answer your questions at 1-800-799-SAFE.

Chris Brown to receive 1 yr of dv counseling with probation

R & B celebrity Chris Brown has been sentenced to 5 years probation for his grammy night assault on Rihanna; performing manual labor as community service, Brown will also participate for one year in a counseling/treatment program to assist him in breaking the cycle of violence he witnessed as a youth. Children and teens who witness family violence that is not comprehensively addressed often mature to adults who victimize or are victimized. Across the country, shelter programs recognize and seek to intervene with specialized counseling services and programs. Children as young as 3 years of age participate in art programs and a wide variety of therapeutic treatments to assist them in developing healthy values and behaviors.

Onlookers often consider families in shelter in dire straights. They are in fact, on their way up. Provided with support systems, relationship counseling, value mapping and behavior modifications, they address family issues proactively. Children benefit from the improved stability and are far less likely to repeat the cycle of abuse. More dangerous to our communities, are the families who quietly accept the violence considering what happens behind closed doors to be private. Children in these homes are conditioned to keep the silence and are highly predisposed to repeat the cycle. Remember, SILENCE HIDES THE VIOLENCE. Call the National Domestic Violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE for advice on how to best support a child or family in need. We will never know if proper counseling in childhood may have broken the cycle of violence sooner in Chris Brown's family. Under media spotlight, may he be encouraged to embrace the counseling and services to effectively and permanently change his behaviors. We're pulling for you, Chris, and for improved safety in our homes and communities.

Chris Brown takes responsibility

Traveling much of the past couple weeks, its been difficult to keep up on current events. Thanks to my friend, Drew, who called to advise me of today's update on the Chris Brown-Rihanna case. After reading the interviews and watching video clips...all of which was undoubtedly scripted...this survivor was pleased that minimally Brown did take responsibility for his actions. As readers may know, on Grammy night, Feb. 2009, Brown battered Rihanna. Some reports indicate he "choked" her, others claim he used martial arts techniques, but photos clearly indicated battering to the face. Brown (real name Robyn Fenty) recently told interviewers he witnessed domestic violence at home...his stepfather beating his mother. People who have histories of domestic abuse in their families, role modeling rage and intimidation frequently continue the cycle of abuse. Those traumatized as child witnesses are at high risk of becoming abusers themselves. READERS, please comment on experiences of families you know. In his favor, Chris Brown did not attempt to justify his behavior as reprisal for something Rihanna may or may not have done. Admittedly, intentions behind publicity are to save one's career, and as Rolling Stones Reporter "Toure" said, Brown has alot of work to overcome the perception he's evolving into the next Ike Turner. Likely Brown will have a five year suspended sentence with six months of community service in his home state of Virginia, however a judge will make final ruling on August 5, 2009. I will invite Chris Brown and Rihanna to participate in this Survivor's awareness campaign. If he did or if he didn't "choke" her, his apology in song would be a memorable PSA...so I'm plugging the opportunity to Brown's attorney, Mark Geragos and publicist, Michael Sitrick before that final sentencing. What do you think?

Farrah Fawcett's Legacy

Heartfelt condolences to Farrah's family and friends for their loss; may she now rest in peace, immortalized to a great extent by the roles she played.  This survivor genuinely relates to Farrah's character in her 1984 "THE BURNING BED" where she played a battered woman who killed her husband in self defense.  Recalling that story, while I was experiencing the torture in my real life did occassionally spark my consideration to oft my captor/assailaint.  In my seriously reduced physical condition, I doubted my ability to overcome one much stronger with sharper senses.  I feared if I was not successful, he would surely kill me and maybe my mother as well.   The Burning Bed brought awareness to the forefront, as did the dramatization of Ike & Tina Turner's true story.  Celebrities have the opportunity to teach important lessons thru the roles they play.  Often the true stories of non-celebrities would greatly impact the public...if they had the opportunity to hear them.  Mine is just one such story.  I hope to be remembered not for opening the door to disaster in my weakest moment but rather for what positive impact my cautionery tale may have in keeping awareness in the forefront. Please remember trained advocates await your call at the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 24 hours a day.  Call 1-800-799-SAFE or visit www.NDVH.org