Many people's perception of women in abusive relationships is based on what they see in the news or happen to observe in public. These misperceptions may be deadly. Batterers frequently seek victims who are week, passive, co-dependent...especially those who seem to attract the cycle in their lives. Almost daily, I'm approached by a strong, independent lady (occassionally a man) who sheepishly admits their experience from years, even decades ago, that they kept to themselves. They did not report the crime, often they didn't even tell a best friend or family member. Often, these are strong, professional people who one would never expect. Abusers are often preditors, on the hunt for ladies at a vulnerable point in their lives...typically astute, strong women who in a weak moment fall prey. While we are far less likely to fall into the cycle of relationships with batterers, we are perhaps the most unexpected victims. So be on the lookout for indicators. Isolation is the primary indicator. While frequently the isolation is geographic, it often starts with monitored or controlled phone communication. If you suspect someone you love may be in trouble, call the National DV Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE and stay tuned in to learn how YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Hey Pamela,
Great post! yes, many strong women who don't seem like they would be in an abusive relationship are. Many times they don't leave because of financial reasons. You're blog looks great, keep up the good work.
Carolyn
Posted by: Carolyn Collins | 06/28/2009 at 02:58 PM
It is true isolation is a sign that something is going on and whatever it is the isolator does not want anyone to find out. I remeber when Woodley got us cell phones I thought it was so we could communicate, but when the calls were never answered by you that should have been a clue on top of the fact that you were living in a rural area of Washington. It makes me wonder how many other family members of abused persons are lied to and manipulated by the abuser without ever being physically harmed by the abuser. Another thought that comes to mind is that family members of a person who is in a domestic violence situation are often stuck in the dark. Very rarily do they come forward perhaps it is beacuse they fear that they will soon be the next target or perhaps it is because the isolation and control is so extreme that family members are often lied to by both the abuser and the victim. the abuser to cover up his own acrions and the victim beacuse they fear future abuse. I am glad that you were able to make it through that horrid time and I hope that your message is heard by everyone not only those who find themselves in a dv situation but by those who believe that a loved one is in a dv situation because that is the only way that the world can step out of silence.
Post a Comment