PTSD...(for me,) A Blessing?

Many who experience extreme violence (domestic violence, gang violence, etc) or other traumatic events are seemingly haunted by those experiences. Physically, I appear pretty well healed from my ordeal. Those who know me personally are amazed I seem to "compartmentalize" so effectively. It's not that I'm tough as nails, although I do relate to the addage "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger." Yet in recognizing I'm the exception, not the rule, in order to best understand and advocate for people who are in or leaving abusive environments, it was time to get some knowledge about Post Traumatic Stress... One of my angels at CEO Space works with Great Life Technologies, extending highly effective techniques to returning veterans. (www.greatlifetechnologies.com) Presently, they are training people to use these techniques and training trainers. Concurrently, they are exploring how to adapt these techniques for people who have experienced domestic violence. I was privileged to sit in on a training in Carlsbad on 10/3.

Realizing how well I was able to compartmentalize, I refused to even be assessed for PTS after my own ordeal. Incorrectly, I perceived it as some sort of mental illness and was unwilling to accept such a diagnosis, nor the drugs I thought would be perscribed, or the excuse for why my goals hadn't yet been accomplished.

The training, provided by Tom Stone, was experiential. Without enlisting the therapist in my "story", through a series of techniques, I experienced my own breakthrough! I went to learn how to help others. Perhaps my most important lesson...heal thyself first.

My own detachment from being held captive and tortured is not unlike detachment I've felt throughout my life in other areas. That detachment and ability to compartmentalize may have saved my life...or at least, my sanity. In a matter of a few hours, alternating between just a few simple techniques, Tom and his team enlightened me. Torture under captivity was not my first trauma. Detachment and compartmentalization were coping mechanisms ingrained during those pre-verbal first months of life. Surrendered at birth and adopted at just over 3 months of age, a type of separation-anxiety manifested. Perhaps at a time, this anxiety served me well. I believe this is common among adoptees. Adoptees often worry they will be perceived as disloyal or ungrateful, often we are uncomfortable to even speak these feelings. Adoptive parents, this IS NOT a reflection on YOU!

Thanks to BarBara, Tom and their gang at Great Life Technologies, I'm now in the process of integrating the contents of all those compartments for a richer, more fulfilling life...a life more relatable to others, with a higher capacity to serve others. Now, not only as an advocate for domestic violence awareness, also as an advocate for anyone who has survived a traumatic experience. (laterally thinking) Integrate and embrace every aspect and experience of your life, it's all part of what makes YOU unique, with unique gifts to offer. YOUR experiences and comments are always welcome here. As we learn and grow together, YOU are important, YOU are loved.