SURVIVOR

Demand Protection for Children traveling internationally!

2011-06-23T10:22:00.000-07:00

Child advocates are expressing outrage over world   governments' continued failures to protect millions of defenseless children   targeted for criminal abduction each year by monsters who facilitate the   unforgiving crimes of internationally abducting or trafficking   children. International border-crossing policies often do not mandate that children traveling abroad present a valid passport to border agents if a child is traveling by land or sea. When a   child is stolen and illegally removed from their country of origin by either a   non-stranger such as a parent, or is a victim of a stranger abduction, that   child has been criminally kidnapped. The traumatic consequences placed on the   kidnapped child are severe. The majority of these defenseless victims will   never recover from the physical and emotional abuse directed toward them. Some   of these children are unable to recover: they are lost forever. Presently, international air travel by a minor requires the presentation of a valid   passport. However, many nations including the   United States permit the submission of a photocopy of a child’s citizenship   papers such as a photocopy of a birth certificate as an acceptable travel   document for a minor age 16 or younger when traveling abroad by land or   sea.

Unquestionably, lax and   wreckless travel document policy requirements associated with minors traveling   by land or by sea have created a colossal legal loophole - a black hole - for   child-thieves and smugglers to criminally transport   and remove targeted children from one country to another until they are   inevitably gone forever. Undeniably, by the sheer size of   the pandemic at hand, predators are utilizing these legal loopholes in   alarming, yet relatively immeasurable numbers.

Inconceivably,   many countries including the   United States, Canada, and nations in the European Union    have policies in place that allow   for a child 16 years old or younger traveling abroad by either land or by sea   to only present to border officials a photocopy of their proof of citizenship   such as their original birth certificate.

Child abduction prevention   advocates and researchers Carolyn Ann Vlk and Peter Thomas Senese, have   previously published several landmark reports including the 'International   Child Abduction and Human Trafficking In The Western Hemisphere'   and 'Crisis In America: International Parental Child   Abduction Today'. They are   currently leading a research   team that will publish findings on the global epidemic of child   abduction and child trafficking as it relates to legal loopholes and other   related flaws associated with a child’s international travel documentation   requirements. The highly anticipated report titled   ‘Global Child Slavery and International Child Abduction Associated With Travel   Documentation Requirements' will be released in mid-July, 2011.

‘Chasing The Cyclone’   author and child advocate Peter Thomas Senese commented, “It is disturbing to   realize that various governments from around the world have turned their   responsible eyes away from the most often used illegal border-crossing   strategies implemented by predators involved in international abduction as   well as in the trafficking of children: illegally transporting a child into a   country by land or by sea using fraudulent documentation due to a senseless   policy often implemented often   stipulating that a child does not need to present a valid passport at a   border-crossing unless the child travels abroad by air. This is insane. Our   children demand more from each of us. Any international travel documentation   policy that does not include the use of a child being required to travel with   a valid passport is a policy that does not address the issues of the safety of   children. The upcoming report ‘Global Child Slavery and International Child   Abduction Associated With Travel Documentation Requirements' will not only   demonstrate how outlandish these non-passport requirement policies are, but   hopefully it will also educate judges, law enforcement, and policymakers of   just how critical and widespread these issues are. Having such   laws in place will also give judges and law enforcement personnel additional   tools they need to prevent the kidnapping of a child before it occurs, as once   the removal takes place, it is that much more difficult and expensive to   remedy.”

In fact, many governments'   immigration, borders, and customs agencies publicly and privately have voiced   that excessive travel documentation fraud has given rise to dramatic and   sweeping increases in the number of international child abductions and human   trafficking cases around the world. According to law enforcement officials   worldwide, the most effective means to determine if a child is legally   traveling abroad is by checking the child’s passport. Nevertheless, even the   presentation of a valid passport may not alleviate all illegal removals,   particularly those connected to an international parental child abduction due   to the potential issuance of a secondary passport related to a child’s   possible dual citizenship. However, access to real-time government records   associated with a valid passport provides border agents better insight into   who is legally crossing into their nation's borders.

Unquestionably, travel   documentation requirements that do not require for a child to present a valid   passport when traveling abroad by land or by sea have created a worldwide malignant epidemic that   continues to destroy millions of   lives each year.This plague is so wicked and ubiquitous that it is often   acknowledged by governments and leading human rights advocates around the   world as one of society’s greatest short-comings. Undoubtedly, there is no one   solution; however, it is evident to those familiar with international child   abduction and human trafficking that one sure-fire way to turn the tide   against the most evil of fates awaiting innocent children targeted for   international abduction is to mandate that every child traveling abroad   present a valid passport.

Carolyn Ann Vlk, drafter of   the State of Florida’s landmark ‘Child Abduction Prevention Act’ law and   co-author of numerous research reports on child abduction commented on the   need to conduct research on the global dilemma of abduction and trafficking as   it is related to significant gaps in travel documentation requirements for   children traveling abroad. “My volunteer advocacy in the area of   child abduction prevention has allowed me an unobstructed view of the horror   the families of a targeted child face. I've spent an incredible amount   of time investigating and analyzing current legislation, policies, and trends   relevant to child abduction and I have uncovered significant loopholes that   are allowing children to be victimized through parental child abduction and   human trafficking. In the report Peter Thomas Senese and I published   concerning the Western Hemisphere Travel Initiative (WHTI), we realize the   policy was intended to prevent abduction and trafficking from occurring but in   reality it facilitatesthe cross boarder abduction of   children through its deficiencies. WHTI allows for the travel   requirements of children to vary depending if they are traveling by land,   sea or air. In our upcoming report titled ‘Global Child   Slavery and International Child Abduction Associated With Travel Documentation   Requirements' we will publish our findings concerning travel documentation   issues as they relate to   child abduction and slavery issues. Our future published findings   will demonstrate the urgent and   critical need for uniform travel requirements for   children, including a passport requirement for all modes of travel.    Without uniform passport requirements, society will continue to embrace child   abduction and child trafficking, and this is completely   unacceptable.”

Oslo based Mr. Martin   Waage, the Director of ABP World Group: a world-renown investigation and   security team that has remarkably been directly involved in safely recovering   over 200 criminally internationally abducted children commented on the   outrageous border-crossing situation. "The expanding number of criminally   abducted and trafficked children presents a deeply disturbing overview of how   severe the situation is. Tragically, the greatest challenge we face in the war   against child abduction and trafficking is our inability to carefully monitor   and control our borders. Most nations do not have border exit controls.   Coupling this incapability with weak travel documentation requirements for   children, the hope advocates like myself have to one day reverse the current   growth trend is dismal. As one of the leading organizations operating within   the recovery of abducted, missing, and kidnapped children, ABP World Group has   for years seen an explosive increase in the number of abducted and kidnapped   children worldwide. Individual countries' lack of regulation and inspection of   travelers, including the European Union’s open borders, has facilitated a   large flow of trafficked victims, children abducted by their parents, and   kidnappings across borders. This is particularly true in Eastern European,   Asian and African countries. In order to stop the destruction of an   unthinkable number of children's lives, lawmakers in all countries must   address these needs and create laws that protect children's rights, including,   critically, changing the travel documentation requirements for all children   traveling abroad to include the presentation of a valid passport at all border   crossings. Having recovered a substantial number of criminally abducted   children taken to and from all over the world, I cannot express in strong   enough terms the need to have passports presented at all border crossings for   minors traveling abroad. Any failure by governments to address this issue is a   direct and absolute disregard to a nation’s most precious citizens: its   children."

Janice L. Jacobs, Assistant   Secretary of State for Consular Affairs stated in the ‘Report on   Compliance with the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International   Child Abduction’ previously submitted to the U.S. Congress that   "Unfortunately, current trends reflect a steady increase in the number   of international parental child abduction cases and highlight the urgency of   redoubling efforts to promote compliance with Convention obligations and   encourage additional nations to join the Convention." She also writes,   "Very few options exist for parents and children who are victims of   parental child abduction."

Florida lawyer Patricia   Lee, a prominent, successful international family law attorney often referred   to in international law circles as a pit-bull with lipstick and who is of   counsel to the international law firm of Urban Thier Federer   & Jackson and who has substantial familiarity with   international parental child abduction cases added, “As a family   law practitioner who frequently deals with international issues, I see the   risk of, and actual incidences of child abduction growing proportionately to   our world shrinking. The failure, or inability, of courts to aggressively   pursue reasonable precautions to proactively prevent such abductions is a   crime in and of itself. Once an abduction has taken place, the left behind   parent faces a morass of legal issues that are not only difficult to surmount   due to language and cultural differences, but are also prohibitively expensive   for the ordinary parent. The backlash is often permanent, and goes without any   redress at all. Our best recourse is to prevent the removal of children at   risk prior to it occurring, and we absolutely must have laws and procedures in   place that allow us to do so. Anything less is simply irresponsible, and   inhumane on a global scale. Children across the world deserve these simple   safeguards from such abduction and victimization.”

Ernie Allen, President   and CEO of the National Center for Missing and Exploited   Children and International Centre for Missing & Exploited   Children previously addressed the crimes against children when he said,   "The problem of missing, abducted, trafficked and sexually exploited   children is large, growing, under-recognized and   under-reported." In addition, Mr. Allen commented   that, "Children are the leading victims of violent and personal   crimes in this country, victimized at a rate twice as high as the general   population." Continuing he stated, “Children are the single   most victimized segment of our population. Even with all of the progress   we have made, most Americans still don’t understand that basic fact.    According to Justice Department research, more than 2,000 children will be   reported missing in the United States today!" Mr. Allen   added, "The numbers are staggering. The tragedies continue and too   many children do not make it home."

San Francisco based Gloria   Nyberg, who has dedicated several decades of her life to successfully and   safely bringing home children criminally abducted abroad added, “Documentation   falsifications is a consistent aspect of travel for children being transported   from one country to another, particularly in South and Central   America. Children disappear daily, where they are   eventually sold and distributed around the world for to beasts trading in the   child sex slave industry, to drug dealers increasing their cartel’s presence,   or are simply killed for their body organs. Without upholding passport travel   requirements for children traveling from one country to another, we are in   fact responsible for the monumental problem on our hands that has been   partially created by our own failures to protect our children. It is time that   we act responsibly as adult citizens charged with protecting innocent   children. Indeed, we have an obligation to do our very best to prevent the   facilitation of international abduction and child slavery. It is critical that   each government adopt a passport-only travel documentation policy for children   traveling abroad. Anything less than this is irresponsible.”

Pamela Michell, the   remarkable founder of Survivor On A Mission and a leading global advocate   spearheading public awareness of human trafficking and slavery issues stated,   “Today, there are tens of millions of child slaves with no hope   for a future. Kept silent through fraud, force or coercion, children   around the world are stolen from their communities in epidemic   proportion. Most are forced into slave labor, some caged for sexual   exploitation, others await the harvesting of their vital organs, while   others abducted live a life on the run...each enduring trauma and danger   few will overcome. Strong action is needed now by all governments to protect   our children’s' future. Critically we call upon the creation and   enforcement of global laws that require a passport to be presented any   time a minor travels abroad. Without this, the massive amount of travel   documentation fraud that exists today that accounts for an inconceivable and   incredulous number of innocent children to be targeted victims of abduction   and slavery crimes will continue to rise. As global citizens, we demand more   from our governments. Our children expect better from each of us."

International child   trafficking and child abduction continue to grow at rapid, uncontrollable, and   extraordinary rates. Alarmingly, there still remain achievable protective   protocols that can substantially make a difference in the war against child   abduction and slavery. One of the most important tools each nation has   available to combat the evil of child abduction is to require all children to   present a valid passport when traveling abroad.   Peter   Thomas Senese added, “What is at stake are the lives of millions of targeted   children each year. Simply put, we must modify existing laws to include   passport presentation for all travelers abroad regardless of age.”

The highlyanticipated report titled ‘Global Child Slavery and International   Child Abduction Associated With Travel Documentation Requirements' will be   released in mid-July, 2011. To view the'International Child Abduction and   Human Trafficking In The Western Hemisphere' report or for more   information on please visit www.internationalparentalchildabduction.com

Best Strategy to Prevent Human Trafficking: FAIR TRADE

2011-04-18T09:14:00.000-07:00

How does buying Fair Trade fight Human Trafficking?

The implications of Fair Trade are far-reaching. Simple purchases of ethically produced products allow each of us to actively contribute to the restoration of global injustice. Maybe this correlation will stir and motivate you to begin buying Fair Trade.

Human Trafficking, also known as modern-day slavery is the second largest and fastest growing criminal industry in the world today. It is estimated that 27 million people are currently enslaved in various forms of sexual and labor exploitation …more than at the height of the trans-atlantic slave
trade (Kevin Bales, www.freetheslaves.net).

According to the 2009 Trafficking in Persons Report, “The movement to stop human trafficking includes significant efforts to address factors that ‘push’ victims into being trafficked, but also recognizes a ‘pull’ factor as part of the cause…One key to addressing such demand is raising awareness about the existence of forced labor in the production of goods…In the global marketplace for goods, ensuring that complex supply chains are untainted by forced labor is a challenge for both businesses and consumers…Any successful effort to combat human trafficking must confront not only the supply of trafficked humans, but also the demand for forced labor and commercial sex that fuels it.”

The easiest and most effective way to combat human trafficking is to continually use your
consumer power to support abolition with your wallet by purchasing fair trade certified products made by survivors of human trafficking.

Fair Trade Certified products are slave free, child-labor-free, and exploitation free. Adults are paid a fair living wage so their children can go to school…they don’t work to help support their families.

The CNN Freedom Project lists various ways to find out and ensure that the products we consume are slavery free.

http://thecnnfreedomproject.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04/05/how-to-help-slavery-in-the-supply-chain/

See the 4/6/2011 CNN Freedom Project (Video) Julia Ormond: Slavery like virus in supply chain.

In this video, actress Julia Ormond, who has been an anti human trafficking activist for several decades, talks about how the consumer, government and business all play roles in ensuring the supply chain for goods is free of slavery."

http://thecnnfreedomproject.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04/06/julia-ormond-slavery-like-virus-in-supply-chain/

Quality Assurance and Food Safety STR RS Helps with California Transparency in Supply Chains Act Compliance. By January 2012, major manufacturers and retailers within the state of California must fully disclose the efforts made to ensure their products have not been tainted by slavery or forced labor at any point within the supply chain. http://thecnnfreedomproject.blogs.cnn.com/2011/04/05/how-california-fights-trafficking/. For more information on this new California law requiring companies to disclose what efforts they are taking to fight slavery within their production chains, see http://www.qualityassurancemag.com/qa-040711-STR-RS-helps-with-California-Transparency-in-supply-chains-act-compliance.aspx

Further, under the Abolition of Child Commerce, Exploitation and Sexual Slavery Act of 2011, an additional $25,000 for the Victim-Witness Assistance Fund would be inflicted on any individual in the state who is convicted of committing a sex crime against a victim who is under 16 years of age. It would also apply to anyone who attempts to or does have sexual relations with a prostitute under the age of 16. http://www.onenewsnow.com/Politics/Default.aspx?id=1323460

I believe most people are willing to pay slightly more for goods produced free of exploitation, and encourage readers to make informed buying decisions. Thank you for your interest and support of Survivor On A Mission. Be aware, stay safe and stay blessed.

Chocolate Lover's CALL to ACTION

2011-01-10T05:44:00.000-08:00

As a chocoholic, with a heavy heart I say good-bye to two of my longtime staple foods: Reeses peanut butter cups and Whoppers...both produced by Hersheys. The great American chocolate bar and giant among U.S. candymakers sources cocoa through supply chains exploiting the worst forms of child labor, according to Tulane University. I thought YOU deserve to know, so YOU can make informed buying decisions.

Since 2006, under contract with the US Department of Labor, Tulane has monitored industry progress in implementing Harkin-Engel protocol to produce Fair Trade Certified chocolate. Nestle and Mars are upgrading policies and procedures, making steady progress to ensure the integrity of their supply chain. Hershey's REFUSES. Much of the worlds chocolate is sourced from the Ivory Coast where it is likely child slaves were involved. These kids don't go to school or play with their friends. They are purchased by slavemasters who program them to believe they work for their keep. Not "room and board" as we would think...they are kept in horrific living conditions, working 12-14 hours a day then left to beg for food. No such thing as a restful night's sleep, no medical care. Nobody cares or advocates for these children.

Before becoming aware, I patronized Hershey's and the exploitation of these precious children and it's left a bitter taste in my mouth. Today I ask you to join me in choosing alternative chocolate products, sending a powerful message with your pocketbook. For those of us in the U.S. on modest budgets, look for products by Mars or Nestle. Another of my longtime favorites (now replacing Reeses peanut butter cups and Whoppers) is M & M's, made by Mars, using fair trade certified chocolate.

The food/fuel we take into our bodies is energetically colored by its processing. I urge readers to consider choosing fair trade certified cocoa and other food products to nurture a sweeter spirit within. For the ultimate chocolate experience, enjoy DIVINE chocolate, now available in the U.S. At http://www.divine.com/ you will discover what makes their chocolate divine! While it may not be your everyday staple food/chocolate product, I find the indulgence unmistakenly and simply DIVINE.

Some say "We are what we eat". Like a negative experience, it can make you bitter or it can make you better...and YOU deserve the best! Join me in fueling yourself with certified chocolate...good riddens Reeses.

Near fatal ordeal inspired Survivor On A Mission

2010-12-11T10:47:00.000-08:00

As you may know, Survivor On A Mission was inspired by the near fatal ordeal my adoptive mother and I endured in Federal Way, WA. Before the 2003 passing of our beloved Edward (husband/father), Mom's cognitive abilities fell sharply due to a series of strokes. An only child, I was responsible for Mom. When she fell and broke her hip less than 6 weeks after Dad passed, horrific and almost unbelievable series of circumstances ensued. In my state of shock, grief and overwhelm, I failed to recognize we were the targeted prey of a man I met in Honolulu who introduced himself as a nurse who had run adult family homes in Washington State.

Leaving the gorry details aside, our experience in no way reflected the agreed arrangement. Completely isolated and "conditioned", there seemed no way to escape captivity. Enduring daily torture, my injuries included 5 broken ribs, fractured pelvis, broken nose and jaw. I was too physically disabled to care for my mother. Regaining consciousness after strangulation, finally I realized if I didn't escape we would both die there. There was no alternative to leaving my bedridden mother with the monster who held us captive.

Mom had intermittently been on hospice care over the last six years of her life. While hospice supports surviving family as well as the patient in transition, Mom rebounded repeatedly and in the end, her passing the morning before Thanksgiving stunned me. I got the call from Franciscan Hospice in the afternoon of Nov. 23rd. I was in SoCal, and Mom was just outside of Seattle which was paralyzed by an early winter storm. Mom passed in less than 14 hours...before I could get there. She and her beloved Edward were together for Thanksgiving. Bedridden since breaking her hip, she is blessed to be in a better place. Nurses held the phone to Mom's ear as I vowed our ordeal was not in vain. Survivor On A Mission advocacy and awareness warms others in vulnerable circumstances to recognize red flag warnings and potentially deadly pitfalls of falling prey to a con-artist.

Our case met the technical definition of human trafficking as well as near fatal domestic abuse. Culminating four years of legal proceedings, our captor was sentenced in 2009 to 30 years at WallaWalla. As you may imagine, severe post-traumatic implications will have live-long effect. I've been blessed to receive training from Great Life Technologies as a Trauma Resolution Specialist which provided incredible self-healing and allows me to support others in their post-traumatic shift from Survive to Thrive.

Survivor On A Mission provides education, advocacy and resource coordination to survivors of abuse, abduction, rape, human trafficking and other traumas. Your tax deductible contributions are sincerely appreciated. Be Aware, Stay Safe, and share in a blessed holiday season and year ahead.

Be A Hero For Sara

2010-10-09T18:39:00.001-07:00

Today, YOU have the opportunity to be a hero in the life of Sara Kruzan…a survivor of human trafficking. The daughter of a drug addict, at age 11 Sara was first introduced to a then 31-year old man who began conditioning /brainwashing her for exploitation. At 13, he first raped her then forced her into prostitution. After 3 years, Sara snapped and shot him. Years before the passage of the TVPA, Sara was sentenced to life without parole. Now 32, Sara has spent half of her life in prison and has requested Governor Schwarzenegger to invoke his discretionary authority to commute her sentence in her pending clemency plea. Consistently, Sara has proven to be a model prisoner; she completed her college degree during incarceration and has experienced unparalleled personal growth.

Read Sara’s story. Included below is an excerpt from her letter to the governor and links to well-researched media coverage about Sara. U.S. residents from all states and territories are encouraged to sign the electronic petition while personal letters to Gov. Schwarzenegger from the global community will have greatest impact on Sara’s behalf. I’ve posted the letter I wrote and will continue posting letters from compassionate friends who have shared their letters with me for YOU to use as an example.

Sara’s plea, in her own words, follows.
“My Life began on January 8, 1978, in Los Angeles, California. I was born to a mother who brought me into this world unwed and unsure of her decision to keep me. I grew up in Monrovia, California, in a two bedroom duplex directly across the street from my elementary school. I have fond memories of entering a drawing contest, riding my bike and learning how to cut roses the right way from my elderly neighbor. As I write this letter though, my happy memories are far and few in between, I cannot move forward until I can express what I must sincerely convey.”

“My childhood memories are a reminder to me that George Howard was a father himself. That he had a son and his son no longer has a father because of my actions. George was a son himself and what I have done and the remorse I feel will never go away, nor do I wish it to. I feel a deep set sorrow for taking George's life. It is daily I experience a level of grief and sadness in my heart and in my thoughts. However, as I mentioned I do not want this emotion to go away. It is a part of who I am today and I have utilized it to grow in a healthy manner. It is through the aid of intense therapy, self help groups and inspiration readings such as "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl.”

“Through these inner struggles, it became a challenge for me that the feelings of remorse I hold for George are also for the young child I once was who was abused on many levels by him. I really want this letter to be about the person I am today, rather than about the pain and abuse I suffered in the past. But I know that abuse still remains a part of who I am today. I endured mental and physical abuse from my mother at a very early age. I also was sexually abused by many people. This includes George Howard, who first sexually assaulted me when I was eleven years old and who began sexually trafficking me when I was thirteen years old. This continued until I was 16 years old. I was two months past my sixteenth birthday when I shot and killed George.”

“When I first arrived at Central California Women's Facility I was eighteen years old and unsure of my new home. I carried within me the pain and rage from my past. There was a struggle inside me though that wanted to develop. There was a young Sara who was the track runner, student body president and person who even wrote about Drugs and its Effects that wanted to grow. However in prison without strong guidance it’s easier to let emotions of pain and anger out. After several years of my incarceration that strong guidance found me. Her name is Lt. Z. Cooper. What she did was plant seeds of encouragement. Her words gave me the strength I needed to desire to no longer feel empty inside. I discovered many positive outlets for myself. More self help groups were offered and I signed up for them. There groups helped me set healthy boundaries for myself. Even though I cannot change the blue print of my past, but I am able to build a foundation that's planted within.”

“Today at thirty-two years old I am not a victim. And that young girl I felt inside me before has grown and developed and is able to express herself in the woman I am today. And the woman I am today is able and capable of making healthy choices for myself. No longer will I compromise who I am for others. Today I can and do lead a life of example for others. If I am given the opportunity to rejoin society I know I will make the most of it. Just like I have made the most and continued to make the most of my life here. I am requesting a commutation of my sentence based on my history of abuse, my youthful age and vulnerability at the time of the crime and because of the person I am today. It is with love I seek to be forgiven, it is with love I have forgiven all who have hurt me. I sincerely request to be forgiven for the harm and pain I have caused. I appreciate this opportunity to have the time to explain a bit about myself to you and respectfully request a grant of clemency.”

I know Sara is a hero and a powerful advocate whose ordeal has not been in vain. Join me now, in advocating on her behalf… as a personal favor to me. What if she were your child, your sister or niece? Urge Governor Schwarzenegger to liberate Sara as part of his legacy. Collectively, we hold the power to influence Gov. Schwarzenegger’s consideration. Step up and take time to show that you care and what you stand up for. As of 10/6 there were 1,175 signatures on the electronic petition. Message me with your signature number… better yet, copy me the letter you mail with your consent for me to include it as a sample for other concerned citizens. Thank you, in advance. Your awareness, interest and action is crucial and genuinely appreciated.

Survivor On A Mission is in pre-launch of Heroes In Training which empowers ordinary and extraordinary people around the world to be heroes, saving or transforming lives. Visit www.HeroesInTraining.info or www.SurvivorOnAMission.org for additional information and share in a blessed week ahead.http://www.acf.hhs.gov/trafficking/about/TVPA_2000.pdf

Hero Qualities Transform Lives...the HERO in YOU

2010-09-28T11:05:00.000-07:00

Ramping up for launch of Heroes In Training, my colleage/consultant/advisor in terms of technical application of trauma resolution provided me with an anchoring session yesterday. Thank you, Magi Speelpenning, for your valuable advice! Heroes in Training empowers everyday people, through awareness and preparation, to step up and become a hero...saving or transfoming lives.

We don't have to be trained firefighters, martial arts experts, or even CPR certified to save a life. A perfectly placed anonymous phone call is frequently all it takes. As a survivor of near fatal domestic abuse, repeated rape and human trafficking, I recognize how sociopaths are able to condition anyone to comply with a brutal, morbid existence...quietly. With my background in social services, I'm answering the call to extend what will serve as a solution for many trapped in such an existence.

Magi reminded me of four qualities inherent in heroes...anchoring these characteristics in our daily lives enhances every life and group we come in contact with...COURAGE, COMPASSION, LOVE and HONOR. In your home, your community, your workplace or in your travels, these qualities are YOUR GIFT to humanity.

On Thursday, September 29, 2010, I have the honor of guesting on Ken King's radio program and will highlight Heroes In Training, designed to compliment Survivor On A Mission. Heroes In Training will enlist corporate support from organizations like UPS, FedEX, Time Warner, utility and public works companies, all types of installers and delivery workers to name a few...empowering everyday people to step up and be a hero simply through their awareness and preparation.

Know the indicators and the number to call when possibilities of abuse, rape, trafficking, or risk of suicide occur on YOUR watch. Recognize survivors of these and other atrocities are frequently plagued with post traumataic stress which can be resolved through countless therapy-free holistic techniques as well as more traditional therapy. Envision yourself as the conduit, guiding the "victim" from SURVIVE to THRIVE!

One in 4 women reports abuse during her lifetime, one in 3 women experiences rape during her college career. The person YOU assist, may well be someone YOU love. Each of us is precious. Thank you for your interest and support. Visit www.survivoronamission.org for more information. BE AWARE, STAY SAFE, STAY BLESSED...YOU are LOVED!

Flattery may lead to abduction...w/ Sam Watkins BTR

2010-08-29T10:22:00.000-07:00

Honored to guest on Sam Watkins BTR, Tues. Sept. 7th, I'll be discussing red flag indicators that flattery may lead to abduction. Recorded from 7-9PM Central time, Sam dedicates the first half hour to missing/awareness updates...I'll be on @7:30 Central, 5:30 PM Pacific. Although teens are most vulnerable, anyone can become prey to an abductor. Abductors are master manipulators. They sense their opportunity when we are at risk. Few think this way, so we just don't see it coming. It may be a seemingly mild-mannered lady, not always the stereo-typed thug, who draws in the "victim". Their motivation is MONEY. Human trafficking is a 31 billion dollar a year industry. Often "victims" are sucked into the sex trade, tho thousands are lured to work as domestics, agricultural workers, in production/manufacturing or countless other industries. Any time fraud, force or coersion is used to exploit one sexually or the fruits of their labor, it's trafficking.

Because the risk is low and profits ridiculously high, gangs and organized crime are heavily involved. Often activities are parallel to drug or weapons trade...these networks are well-established. Anyone who displays/reveals a need to provide for themself and/or others can be lured into the web. Runaways, foster children, and immigrants desperate for a better life are frequently targeted...sometimes lured from gas stations or supermarket parking lots by a seemingly generous offer. The abductor typically hands off his prey to someone in his/her channel. Emotional brainwashing or conditioning is facilitated through deprivation of sleep and food, cemented with physical force. Conditioning is so thorough, prey endures silently even if they are offered help. The level of trauma that ensues can be paralyzing. In most areas, local law enforcement does not recognize or know how to handle these situations. Simply by placing an anonomous call to 888-3737-888, the Human Trafficking Hotline, YOU can be a hero. YOU can save or transform a life.

We'll go in depth during the program, and I'll describe Tomorrows Heroes In Training which bridges community members and corporate America to the social services arena I've dedicated the past 20 years of my life to. I recognize many don't want to hear about the gloom and doom of human trafficking, abuse or abduction...yet you don't need to be trained as a fireman or defense expert to save or transform a life. Now recruitting: Tomorrow's Heroes In Training. Enrollment and subscription opportunities will be unveiled shortly, thanks to a team of incredible coaches and mentors who genuinely and whole-heartedly support the vision.

Visit www.survivoronamission.org or http://survivoronamission.blogspot.com Be aware and be safe. Blessings to you and yours; each one of you is precious to me. This world needs YOU!

BE AWARE, BE A HERO, SAVE A LIFE

2010-08-19T12:44:00.000-07:00

My calling to advocacy and awareness is focussed in three areas: RAPE, HUMAN TRAFFICKING, and DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. My own ordeal met the technical definition of all three. This quick post will share a compelling statistic on each, and hotline numbers where compassionate help awaits. RAPE: One out of three American women experiences rape during her college career...still we agree it is widely unreported. RAINN is available at 800-656-HOPE, and for those needing intervention for related PTSD, 800-64-PANIC. Worldwide, more people are enslaved today than at any time in recorded history. It's in the supply chain of products we use daily. Its low risk and highly profitable for traffickers. Call 888-3737-888 for the Human Trafficking Hotline...local law enforcement is not well trained for proper response in many communities. DOMESTIC ABUSE: According to the US Dept. of Justice, 63% of males between the ages of 11-20 who are convicted of murder KILL the person who was abusing their mother. Call the National DV Hotline at 800-799-SAFE. As an advocate, I am personally available to listen and make referrals to you or when someone you love needs related services or support. I'm also trained as a Trauma Resolution Specialist. Each one of YOU is precious. YOUR AWARENESS may save a life. Visit www.survivoronamission for additional information. Blessings to you and yours.

Anti-Trafficking Symposium in Los Angeles

2010-07-24T10:37:00.000-07:00

C.A.S.T. LA facilitated an Anti-Trafficking Symposium, in conjuction with Thai CDC on 7/23/10 at California Endowment. This survivor was both honored ahd humbled to meet survivors and leaders from CAST, Free the Slaves, KIWA (Koreatown Immigrant Workers Alliance), PWC (Philipino Workers' Center), CHIRLA (Coalition for Humane Immigrant Rights of LA), and the Thai CDC. Survivors included women enslaved as long as 17 years. Among those sharing their experience: Rotchana Cheunchujit, liberated in the El Monte raid 15 years ago and Maria Suarez, migrant worker's rights educator who was enslaved during a time when victims were treated as criminals.

Maria spent years wondering "if GOD forgot about me".

Rotchana described living and working environment and psychological conditioning to distrust everyone. She spoke no English then; they were told it is dangerous in America...the blacks will kill you and the Mexicans will rape you. She and her fellow workers were so fearful their liberators had to use an axe to enter the property to free them!

Henry Ong, Executive Director of the Thai CDC wrote the play "FABRIC" performing thru 8/8 at The Company of Angels on Spring Street in LA, depicting the pre-dawn raid on 8-2-95 of the El Monte sweat shops.

Clients served by C.A.S.T.La (Coalition Against Slavery and Trafficking) have largely been of Latino or Asian decent, many from the Philipines and Guatamala, their labor exploited as domestics, agriculture or production workers. While typically our first thoughts may be of women enslaved as commercial sex workers, it is important to recognize with high demand for cheap labor, not only do foreigners fall prey...thousands of American citizens are trafficked domestically and abroad as well. The common underpinning element: First step is psychological conditioning...very similar to that used by an abuser to keep his/her victim silent.

Thank you for taking the time to read, become aware and show you care. You are precious! I love and appreciate each one of you. Be safe, and stay blessed.

Visit www.castla.org for additional information about trafficking. If you suspect human trafficking or seek information on volunteering, call 888-539-2373 (key.2.freedom).

Urge Gov Lingle to sign HB 2045

2010-06-11T14:33:00.000-07:00

Across the United States, the 2008 TVPA protects those exploited by human trafficking. Forty-five states have legislation and protocols in place to serve and protect their citizens. Hawaii is one of five states that currently lacks such protection. Both the House and Senate have passed HB 2045, which awaits signature by Hawaii's Governor, Linda Lingle.

YOUR call to the governor's office, at 808 586-0034 is appreciated...even if you are not a Hawaii resident.

Regular readers know my special connection to Hawaii, my family's history there and that my ordeal originated in Honolulu. I was "trafficked" to Washington state, one of four states which lacks protection for those who experience domestic violence. Perpetrators know which states have no laws or ordinances under which they can be prosecuted. Residents most frequently are not aware. And here in California, where we have some of the strongest protection in the country, it is beyond comprehension that in some states there are either no laws, no ordinances, or no enforcement.

If you have concerns about Human Trafficking, call 1-888-3737-888. Thank you for your support and interest. Stop by www.survivoronamission.org I'm in your corner. Stay safe and stay blessed.

Human trafficking in our own backyard

2010-05-18T12:26:00.000-07:00

More people are enslaved today, than at any other time in recorded history. Human trafficking is the second largest black market industry, and its running rampant although most of us choose to turn a blind eye to it. I'm going to break it down for you, as we learn together. Here are just two examples of human trafficking...one involving US citizens and one Koreans...that earned the spot on the map for San Diego and San Francisco as hotspots. Los Angeles is another, which I'll highlight in a future post.

San Diego is ranked #8, and likely trafficking there is widely unreported...here's why. As a border town, San Diego has more than its share of runaways. High demand for cheap labor makes trafficking very lucrative, especially since that resource can be sold over and over again. In San Diego, gangs are moving in to trafficking...snatching vulnerable youth and runaways...approaching like shining knights who will "protect" their interest. Often, but not exclusively, youth are groomed as sex slaves...boys and girls.

Due to the high level of "security" once ensnared, escape is nearly impossible.

Back in 2005, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsome (now running for Lt. Gov.) implemented solid measures to limit future violations when over 100 Korean women were found extending services beyond massage. Boarded in tight, concealed quarters, extreme security in place kept the workers in and continuously monitored...it was not for their safety or protection, it was for their containment! Now practitioners must be trained massage therapists, with registered permits. Health Department Inspectors make surprise visits. Mayor Newsome includes this among his personal crusades...NOT ON HIS WATCH!

These were just two brief examples. Be aware when you notice high level security. Don't turn a blind eye, call the National Hotline...1-888-3737-888. Thank you for your time and attention to this compelling issue. Stay safe and stay blessed.

For additional information and resources to assist with PTSD resulting from rape, child or adult abuse, visit www.survivoronamission.org

Trusting the polygraph...Julie Ann Gonzalez' husband takes the test

2010-05-04T23:27:00.000-07:00

On May 2, 2010, this survivor was in the studio audience for the taping of Dr. Phil's episode exploring what his marketing people refer to as "Runaway Moms". The program scheduled to air on May 7th examines the dissappearance of Julie Ann Gonzalez on March 26, 2010. When I saw her missing person poster pop up among my network just over a week ago...something didn't gel.

My intuition tells me Julie Ann is no runaway. She was last seen by her estranged husband, George. Julie's mother and aunt were guests on Dr. Phil's show; her husband, George and his mother were present as well as experts including CBS legal analyst, Lisa Bloom and former FBI Agent and polygraph expert, Jack Trimarco.

Julie's mother, Sandra, and her aunt believe her estranged husband, George, knows more than he's telling. George is the last person to have seen Julie Ann, when she dropped their daughter for visitation. George's mother lept to his defense. They implied Julie Ann may have skipped out like Tiffany Tehan, the Colorado pastor's daughter and young mother/wife who checked out on her family without a word, surfacing several days later on a Miami beach with her married boyfriend.

Given Julie and George's estranged relationship, reports of physical abuse, and Julie's devotion to her daughter, George was named "a person of interest". Julie's family is concerned so much time passed since her dissappearance, frustrated her trail may be "going cold". Not suprisingly, Lisa Bloom's perception was that George knows more than he is telling. Dr. Phil explained that while polygraph results may not be admissable in court, when both parties agree and stipulate to results in advance, they may be admitted.

With former FBI agent/Polygraph expert Jack Trimarco on hand to administer, Dr. Phil persuaded George to agree to be tested! Given the opportunity to clear his name or possibly reveal involvement or knowledge regarding Julie Ann's dissappearance, George complied. For approximately 90 minutes, Trimarco and George established and agreed to the parameters of the test, then continued with very specific questions aiding the investigation and discovery in Julie's dissappearance.

The longer a person remains missing, the more grave the situation becomes. Those who remain "at large" are in serious peril and at-risk for human trafficking due to a growing demand for cheap labor and/or commercial sex.

Check your local listings for Friday, May 7th (in Los Angeles, at 4 PM on channel 2 or at 7 PM on channel 9) for the airing of this episode including the results of George's polygraph test. Kudos, Dr. Phil, for facilitating this discovery. The airing of the May 7th episode included polygraph administration, tho the sealed envelope results will not be aired until May 14th. Dedicated workers at the missing persons hotlines across the US and abroad. In California, call at 800 222-FIND. Additional information regarding abuse or trafficking, including therapy-free, post-traumatic recovery is available at http://www.survivoronamission.org/. Be Aware, be safe, and stay blessed.

Legislative Update RE Domestic Violence in WA State

2010-04-22T12:09:00.000-07:00

In reviewing the Legislative Session Summary 2010 from the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence, once again this survivor is stunned by the "reasoning". HB 3111, SB6318 would have provided mandatory reporting of gunshot wounds. Legislation was opposed by the WSCADV and FAILED.

I messaged the Coalition and asked them to explain why they would oppose such a measure. Their position...an automatic report by the hospital might prevent an injured party from seeking medical care! From the perspective of one who survived near fatal injury in Washington State, even when I urged hospital workers to report my injury, POLICE DID NOT RESPOND. There is no protocol in place that requires them to respond. My captor/assailant went on to abuse other women while I was hospitalized, recovering from injuries. If law enforcement would have responded, this would have been prevented.

Other measures that did pass, include HB2770/SB 6504 which reduced crime victim compensation to a maximum of $50,000 (from $190,000). On a positive note, funding was preserved for domestic violence shelter programs with only a slight reduction in advocacy. In terms of repeat domestic violence offenders, ESHB 2777 clarifies that individuals restrained by a protection order cannot possess firearms! This may seem like a no-brainer for residents of 46 states...but be aware that in Washington, Georgia, Oklahoma and Nebraska there is virtually no protocol for protection, no ordinances in place to serve those at greatest risk. Domestic violence is not "a private matter". Nearly all offenders are serial offenders...if we don't take measures to stop them, its only a matter of WHO is next! (maybe someone YOU love).

Visit www.survivoronamission.org for additional information about domestic violence, human trafficking, rape and resolution of PTSD which frequently results from these ordeals. Included under trauma resolution is a free MP3 download of guided imagery exercises that bring the listener to that peaceful place within themselves...a place fellow practitioiners call "pure awareness". Join me in pure awareness; please forward this link to someone you care about who is stuck in suffering. Stay blessed.

Survivor's Journey in Defining Human Trafficking

2010-03-29T00:04:00.001-07:00

My personal ordeal beginning as a financial con, escalating to captivity, extreme physical & sexual abuse, escaping in May 2005, I knew enough about domestic abuse to recognize my experience included the 4 types: physical, sexual, emotional & financial.

Nearly five years later, attending a play by Dr. Ana Nogales "Don't Call me Baby" on human trafficking at the CASA0101 Theatre, I was stunned to learn the defining elements of human trafficking...one or more of these three elements meets the definition: Use of Force, Use of Coersion, or Fraud as a basis of re-locating for purposes of forced labor or sexual exploitation. My own ordeal launched in fraud, followed with coersion and continued with force, extracting me from my young adult daughters, our South Bay home, a job and a life that delighted me...to the gloom and doom of Washington State, one of four states that in effect still considers domestic violence "a private matter". What this means is there are no local domestic violence ordinances, no protocols for protection. My assailant/trafficker has been sentenced on the physical violence, aggrevated by coersion, yet prosecution did not address the financial fraud. I was neither the first, nor the last "victim" of my assailant, in terms of domestic violence, or in terms of human trafficking (as I now understand it).

To share your concerns, or for more information about human trafficking, call the hotline @ 888-373-7888. Post-traumatic stress (PTSD) is common among those affected by human trafficking and/or violence. Readers are invited to visit http://www.survivoronamission.org/for additional information on trauma resolution, including a free MP3 download to sample pure awareness and begin the healing process. Please share this link and awareness with those you love. Stay blessed.

Sexual Assaults on campuses (likely unreported)

2010-03-22T11:09:00.000-07:00

As a survivor of domestic and sexual violence, I can understand why so many "victims" do not report these crimes. Frequently, their anxiety about having to re-tell their experience...first in reporting to campus and/or local police, then in interviews with prosecutors...ultimately in the courtroom...adds insult to injury. While typically, this survivor addresses a larger audience, in terms of abuse, this post concentrates on awareness as it applies to the college careers of women in the United States. According to the American Association of University Women, one if five women are raped during their time in college. Sixty-five percent are unreported, and alcohol is involved in 75% of cases.

Frequently I repost the National 24-hr DV Hotline number 1-800-799-SAFE. Specific to Sexual Assault, call 1-800-656-4673. Post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) frequently affects reactions and decision-making for a lifetime after such an ordeal. Visit www.survivoronamission.org for helpful information about domestic violence, rape, PTSD, and some of the most effective ways to move from survive to thrive, post-trauma. This site includes a tab for trauma resolution; and pure awareness is one of many highly effective techniques that helps "victims" reclaim their power.

For this survivor, even the word "victim" makes me cringe. Beginning my fund raising career at Homeward Bound in Phoenix, my foundational mentor, Dr. Pamela Martin taught me that empowerment begins when we identify as survivors, not victims. Regardless of each woman's choice to report or not to report the crime against her, reclaiming our power begins in our choice...our decision...to consider ourselves as "survivors" or as "victims".

Taking the bold step to report the crime reduces the likelihood the assailant will repeat the offense against you or others. Rarely do offenders step out of line only once. Each time they experience no consequence, the odds increase for the pattern to develop, and the offender becomes a serial offender. Especially in campus communities, when we choose not to report the crime, the assailant is likely to strike again...maybe even the same "victim", maybe someone else in her social circle or a fellow student on the same campus.

Each of us is responsible for our own actions...we do not trigger the actions of another. Choosing to wear a short skirt or fitted top is not an invitation. Sharing a glass of wine and conversation does not imply intimate access. Shame is a demoralizing emotion that stifles our expression and potential. Trained as a Trauma Resolution Specialist, I've learned to guide "victims" and "survivors" in releasing negative emotional energy as a beginning step in self-recovery, and a key factor as we strive to thrive and serve others.

In service as an advocate, I speak for those who haven't found their pathway to stepping out of silence. Using poetry and art as a healing tools, in collaboration with A Window Between Worlds, am in the production phases of releasing my copyrighted poetry collection, based on my own experience. Much of the poetry collection will be inter-twined in my true crime survival story as a more palatable way of delivering extremely grissley content. My poem, Stepping Out of Silence is included in my toastmaster's icebreaker at www.youtube.com/wetch?v=OYNeOCO_Ops To support my advocacy efforts, tax deductible contributions are welcome at www.SurvivorOnAMission.org As an adovocate, I am in your service. Contact me to assist you or someone you care about in making the post traumatic shift, first from victim to survivor...then, Survive to Thrive.

Tragedy in Tacoma

2010-03-05T00:32:00.000-08:00

Reading the Seattle Examiner story of Jennifer Paulson, a special ed. elementary teacher in Pierce Co. Washington, this survivor is regularly reminded how dangerous it is to live in WA State. After years of being stalked, Jennifer finally obtained a restraining order a year and a half ago. That order violated, her assailant was arrested last week, bailing out on Monday for 10K. On Friday 2/26/2010 @ 7:30 AM, she was shot on school grounds in Tacoma, Washington.

Same city where former police chief David Brame killed his wife, Crystal Judson Brame, as their children watched. Crystal had filed for divorce, the documents specifying Chief Brame held a loaded gun to her head and threatened her...that the only way she was leaving him, was dead. The City Manager called the documents "a private matter". The lack of protocol for protection of domestic violence in Washington puts all residents in extreme risk, even more so when the accused is a public safety worker who carries a gun on the job. Though Crystal's family has made remarkable strides in terms of awareness in the state since she was shot in 2003, there's still a long way to go.

Last week HB 2777 extended was passed in WA State, constituents grateful for any recognition or support for domestic violence survivors, still a far cry from what 46 other states would consider reasonable. How many lives will be lost in Washington State before they have a paradigm shift in what is considered a "private matter"?

As this survivor made way to a Seattle ER after strangulation in 2005, a "private matter" protocol did not compell local authorities to even take a police report after verifying severity of injuries would require extended hospitalization...no immediate danger they said.

Advocates in Washington tell me to push for legislation, without local dv ordinances and protocol, would further endanger those at greatest risk. I ask readers to take a few moments of quiet reflection, focussed energy and attention to this dark cloud that engulfs the State of Washington. May its leaders collaborate to quickly enact the changes its residents deserve. May Jennifer Paulson's family find comfort in their sorrow, may Crystal Judson rest in peace. Too many have paid with their lives for this good old boy network and private matter designation. May it end here.

Reader comments always welcome and honored. My heart goes out to each of you, I love and thank you for your support. Stay blessed.

HB 2778-WA State Call to Action

2010-02-06T07:43:00.001-08:00

As regular readers know, inconsistency in state reporting laws is an issue I'm passionate about, having experienced for myself the deficiencies in WASHINGTON State laws (that allowed my perpetrator to continue violating other women while I was hospitalized, recovering from near fatal injuries). In the last legislative session, Washington finally included a provision under which police would be engaged WHEN A VICTIM ARRIVES UNCONCSCIOUS.

NOW, Washington House Bill 2778, which is presently stalled in Ways and Means Committee seeks to make WA State law more consistent with the rest of the country in terms of how law enforcement agencies handle domestic violence reports.

From this survivor's perspective, the key points/provisions of House Bill 2778:

Make it illegal for someone restrained by an order of protection to possess firearms.

Clarifies circumstances where a teen in a dating relationship is eligible for an order of protection.

Establishes a process to reconcile court orders with different provisions on orders of protection. AND

Clarifies protocol when domestic violence is experienced by Washington residents out of jurisdiction.

For those of us living in California and other states leading the way in terms of protection, it is inconceivable that this inconsistence exists in the U.S. We do not have equal states of protection.

Washington residents are encouraged to contact their representative, urging them to move HB 2778 out of Ways and Means by this call to action. I thank you for your awareness and support. Together we will make a change, we will make a difference!

Linville, Kelli (D) Chair
42 (360) 786-7854
Linville.kelli@leg.wa.gov

Ericks, Mark (D) Vice Chair
1 (360) 786-7900
ericks.mark@leg.wa.gov

Sullivan, Pat (D) Vice Chair
47 (360) 786-7858
Sullivan.pat@leg.wa.gov

Alexander, Gary (R) *
20 (360) 786-7990
Alexander.gary@leg.wa.gov

Bailey, Barbara (R) **
10 (360) 786-7914
Bailey.barbara@leg.wa.gov

Dammeier, Bruce (R) **
25 (360) 786-7948
Dammeier.bruce@leg.wa.gov

Chandler, Bruce (R)
15 (360) 786-7960
Chandler.bruce@leg.wa.gov

Cody, Eileen (D)
34 (360) 786-7978
Cody.eileen@leg.wa.gov

Conway, Steve (D)
29 (360) 786-7906
Conway.steve@leg.wa.gov

Darneille, Jeannie (D)
27 (360) 786-7974
Darneille.jeannie@leg.wa.gov

Haigh, Kathy (D)
35 (360) 786-7966
Haigh.kathy@leg.wa.gov

Hinkle, Bill (R)
13 (360) 786-7808
Hinkle.bill@leg.wa.gov

Hunt, Sam (D)
22 (360) 786-7992
Hunt.sam@leg.wa.gov

Hunter, Ross (D)
48 (360) 786-7936
Hunter.ross@leg.wa.gov

Kagi, Ruth (D)
32 (360) 786-7910
Kagi.ruth@leg.wa.gov

Kenney, Phyllis Gutierrez (D)
46 (360) 786-7818
Kenny.phyllis@leg.wa.gov

Kessler, Lynn (D)
24 (360) 786-7904
Kessler.lynn@leg.wa.gov

Pettigrew, Eric (D)
37 (360) 786-7838
Pettigrew.eric@leg.wa.gov

Priest, Skip (R)
30 (360) 786-7830
Priest.skip@leg.wa.gov

Ross, Charles (R)
14 (360) 786-7856
Ross.charles@leg.wa.gov

Schmick, Joe (R)
9 (360) 786-7844
Schmick.joe@leg.wa.gov

Seaquist, Larry (D)
26 (360) 786-7802
Seaquist.larry@leg.wa.gov

*Ranking Minority Member **Asst. Ranking Minority Member

Resiliency: What does not kill me, makes me strong

2010-01-30T21:27:00.000-08:00

Inspired by a study cited in WebMD Medscape Today, Seligman(2002) observed exposure to uncontrollable negatiave events leads to helplessness. We become passive and prone to physical ailments. The shift from helplessness to learned optimism may be aided by a simple exercise.

Start by projecting one month into the future...what would you like to see? Next, how would you think & behave to reach that goal, from the perspective of a victim...of a survivor? Notice the differences and which attitude is most helpful.

This exercise is helpful when you or someone you know is actively or recently removed from an abusive situation or family trauma, including foster children. Learned optimism, organic optimism,is effortless from a place of pure awareness. To help find that peaceful place of pure awareness within yourself, take a 15-minute trip via guided imagery offered as a free MP3 download on the Survivor website at the Pure Awareness menu tab. Click here to go to www.survivoronamission.org Stay blessed.

Invoking Blessings and Positive Energy

2010-01-17T14:46:00.000-08:00

With so many lost souls in our world today, I'm truly blessed in my discovery of my life's purpose. Although not that long ago, SURVIVAL was my aspiration, having made the shift, Post-trauma, from Survive to Thrive I seek to serve as an inspiration, activist, coach and conduit to resolve diagnosed and undiagnosed PTSD. While my colleagues at Great Life Technologies focus on serving combat veterans, adaptation and applicaton of these techniques holds promise for those affected by abuse, violence and family trauma.

My dear CEO colleague, Julie Ann Cohn, a survivor of a different sort and award winning author, recommended me to a friend with Inspired Authors Publishing...to be considered for a collection endorsed by The Dalai Lama. I've just transmitted my draft and ask my reader's positive thought and energy towards this project, especially while my story is under consideration.

A couple weeks ago, I recorded voice guided imagery exercises that bring the engaged listener to a blissful, meditative state. The exercises are an expanded interpretation of those developed by Tom Stone of Great Life Technologies which serve as an underpinning of Trauma Resolution coaching. The first exercise, uses the GAP technique to induce a meditative state and will be available at no charge @ www.survivoronamission.org For those who want more...an expanded version of the AGAPE technique is also available. A $9.95 download fee extends both exercises in audio and text format, providing the reader with a script to guide a partner or group to that peaceful place within. The "IT Team" at Trinity Productions is in the final stages of making this available.

Thank you for your time in choosing to read and support Survivor On A Mission. Your feedback and comments are important, so please let me know what you would like to see more (or less) of. I LOVE YOU...STAY BLESSED!

Character Development Lessons

2009-12-23T16:00:00.000-08:00

Joining CEO Space was like stepping into the sweet spot. While lifetime members come together from around the world to collaborate in business, the connection and bonding goes much deeper. Last week, our forum/retreat was in session in Nevada. During dinner, our colleague JASON WEBB, an Intellectual Property Attorney from Sandy, UT shared his family's experience and a touching lesson for children...SO POWERFUL...I felt compelled to share it with my readers.

Through an organization called KIVA (www.KIVA.org)which offers micro-loans to women entrepreneurs in developing countries, the Webb children truly learn the joy of giving and the profound difference it makes. It's difficult for many of us to grasp that as little as $25 for bowls and basic utensils can permanently shift the outlook for a mother and her children.

Jason and his wife Nanette established accounts, funded by their children doing extra chores around the home. Their kids choose which project(s) they want to support by funding a micro-loan. When the loan is repaid, or as they work to earn more to contribute, they chose other projects. Not only are the Webb kids excited and proud to work for the benefit of those far less fortunate, they learn not to take for granted basics like food and shelter...not to mention access to information and the many wonders of this electronic age.

Through the website, gift certificates are available to easily and affordably allow you to incorporate this lesson and pride in your family's legacy. Blessings abound. I'm counting my acquaintence with Jason among mine this holiday. Looking for an IP ATTY with integrity and heart...go to www.webbiplaw.com

Readers, we would love to hear how you've inspired the joy of giving in your children. Their wonder and delight hold the promise for humanity's future.

Trauma Resolution & Bliss Coaching

2009-12-13T11:44:00.001-08:00

Following immersion by Great Life Technologies and participating in the very first training group...trained by Tom Stone himself, implementation of these techniques was effortless for me. More importantly, so inspired, I couldn't wait to begin offering sessions. While I recognized these techniques will allow everyone to enjoy richer relationship and higher productivity while equipping them to respond optimally to stress or dysfunction in their lives, it is those at greatest risk... who will most benefit from the shift.

Quite the opposite of therapy...where it takes a therapist years to build rapport with a client who gradually reveals more and more circumstances and emotions, this approach is efficient. Guided meditation brings clients directly to the experiential level WITHOUT discussing what hurt. Even clients who have had years of counseling have praised this system, the immediate and lasting results they have enjoyed.

Those fortunate to have not experienced trauma in their lives learn quickly to enrich what is already working...weekly sessions over a month's time will train them to use the techniques effectively without a practitioner facilitating. For who hold emotional energy from one or more traumatic events, it takes just a few sessions more. Weekly sessions are key to applying and learning the techniques for yourself. Even in the most extreme cases, within 2-3 months past traumas are permanently resolved and the client trained to self-guide to sustain "Pure Awareness"

PURE AWARENESS is the underpinning of all coaching. In introductory sessions, clients are guided to pure awareness. They recognize and desire this level of awareness...they understand that from this place, EVERYTHING is possible. Like a tour guide of sorts, as a Trauma Resolution Specialist/Bliss Coach, I'll teach you to find this place for yourself. I'll teach you how to test for yourself what is congruent with YOUR OWN ESSENTIAL NATURE. The stories you have been telling yourself and others do not serve you! I am merely a conduit, bringing Tom's techniques for you to learn and implement along YOUR JOURNEY TO GUIDED BLISS. NONE OF US ARE VICTIMS! I'll teach you to shift from Survive to Thrive (quickly)!

While links are placed on website, etc...here's a testimonial from a dear client:

"Since becoming involved with Pamela, a very gifted Trauma Resolution Specialist, I have noticed within myself a deeper and higher sense of inner awareness. After each session, I am able to go about my day with a sense of calm and connection with my higher self/soul. I enjoy the knowledge and wisdom I am gaining from Pamela, and my guided sessions which is assisting me in my desires to shift from everyday surviving to thriving. I am looking forward to completing the full process with Pamela and continuation of my self personal growth with an ease I never thought possible." Julie E.

Coaching is highly effective in groups. Sessions available in your location or my Redondo Beach office. Honor me with the privilege of serving as YOUR expert tour guide in your PTSD shift from Survive to Thrive... or YOUR JOURNEY TO GUIDED BLISS.

SHIFT TO BLISS

2009-12-06T13:35:00.000-08:00

A couple weeks now since completing Great Life Technologies training as a Trauma Resolution Specialist, utilizing breakthru techniques in Human Software Engineering, my personal shift from Survive to Thrive will be reflected in Survivor On A Mission.
Humbled by the honor to serve as a conduit bringing Tom Stone's techniques to those whose survival depends on it. With fewer than a hundred of us trained in these techniques, many will use them in their own practices or with clients referred through Great Life Technologies. My background in fundraising and program development calls me, in stewardship, to deliver this training to those whose very survival depends on it. I'll continue to pursue grant funding and other resources to provide these services and to train key personnel who work with at-risk individuals across the board...that part of my mission is on-going.

With my own human software "de-bugged", clearly in addition to guiding the shift for survivors, everyone benefits by guided-imagery to a blissful meditative state, to maximize their joy and productivity. For those who are not haunted by past traumatic experiences or emotions, GUIDED BLISS Coaching services illuminate the path to enjoy richer relationships, improve productivity and concentration, and respond optimally under dysfunctional or stressful circumstances.

Trauma Resolution and Guided Bliss Coaching services are now available in my Redondo Beach office, telephonic services to be available spring 2010. Introductory sessions cost $50 which can be applied to coaching package; Introductory session is good for you + up to 3 prompt guests; it brings clients to the blissful, meditative state which serves as the foundation for future coaching. Additionally, clients learn muscle-testing and how to verify what is congruent with YOUR essential nature.

In the new year, a new blog and website will be established consistent with guidedbliss@yahoo.com Thank YOU, to all my readers, who painstakingly watched the process and progression from Survive to Thrive. I love you all.

Survive to Thrive...ready, set, GO!

2009-11-23T17:04:00.000-08:00

Misperceptions about Post Traumatic Stress keep many from learning more. Experiencing severe trauma in 2005, wrongly I associated PTS with mental illness. That diagnosis, and my perception it would be followed with years of prescribed drugs and therapy led me to look in other directions.

Fortunately, CEO Space colleagues at Great Life Technologies dismantled those misperceptions! Pioneering the field of human software engineering, Tom Stone has developed a series of techniques to assist YOU in resolving Post Traumatic Stress, from any cause (not only domestic violence). NOT therapy, within a few to several sessions, YOU will be guided by a Trauma Resolution Specialist (TRS) in clearing past issues, then equipped with the tools and techniques to take future hurdles and traumas in stride.

Trauma Resolution Specialists first undergo an emersion...we "get the junk out of our own trunk" before we can guide YOU without being triggered by your experiences. Again, this is not therapy. Our clients don't pay to tell their story...in fact, its just the opposite. We guide our clients to recognize they are not their story. Each of YOU is much, much more than the sum of your experiences!

After emersion, TRS participate in webinars for 5-6 months to become sertified with Great Life Technologies. We are, however, well-prepared to guide those traumatized to a peaceful, blissful place. By referral, we'll get YOU connected to a TRS near you, or a more advanced practitioner who can guide you telephonically.

Application of Great Life Technologies is proven successful for those with post traumatic stress from early childhood traumas, physical or sexual assaults, veterans returning from combat, and virtually any other potential cause. Visit www.greatlifetechnologies.com for additional information. In Southern California, I/we serve individuals or groups in moving towards inner peace, free of traumatic stress. This is the BLISS YOU DESERVE!

Cues and Clues of the Con (part 2)

2009-11-02T18:09:00.000-08:00

My personal ordeal began as a financial con. I'm not alone. Many women and men have been taken by a con artist. To provide an open forum for discussion, co-host Minoshia Gail Humphrey and I will debut a podcast feature including our own experiences inviting guests to CALL IN WITH YOUR comments @ 9:30 AM PST on 11/5. This blog post serves as a preview and opening discussion point. We welcome your call to 347 237-4584 during our half hour podcast, in awareness and service. With no sympathy for the bereaved, YOUR weakness = the con artist's opportunity.

What sets the con-artist apart? Here are five leading indicators: 1)A free spirit, whose personal welfare outweighs ANY consideration. 2)A natural ability to manipulate others, often discovered at an early age. 3)Manipulation that derives satisfaction, absent ANY guilt or remorse. 4)Above average intelligence, with charm and sincerity empty of concern, the con-artist is anti-social/lacking social conscience. And 5)Gifted with exceptional memory, con-artists juggle and compartmentalize characters/victims.

The con-artist is a formidable foe. Among their street-wise marks are skilled psychiatrists and saavy correctional officers. The con-artist chooses his mark carefully, bringing his arsenal of psychological manipulation to move us from a position of control to one where he holds all the power.

The mark of a con-artist is made to feel admired, or in grave danger...completely dependent on the fraudster. Building dependency, the con-artist uses scare tactics or outright threats to yank the leash wrapped around the mark's survival instincts.

Accessing your personality, the con-artist will zero in on specific traits he/she can easily exploit, instilling a sence of security in dealing with him or her...conveying the appearance only he can fulfill your need. The con-artist accomplishes this with great skill.

Protect yourself by investigating the offer objectively...without emotion. Ask yourself two questions:

Does the person giving information or making the offer have anything to gain by misrepresenting himself/herself? And, if he/she is lying, how much will it affect YOU?

Frequently those who have fallen prey to a con-artist are severely traumatized. How do we begin to trust ourselves or our instincts afterwards...and how can we move from survive to thrive after demoralization? Embarrassment or humiliation do not serve us well. You may find participating in open forum discussions helpful in shifting from victimization, stepping back into your power.

Techniques developed to assist those who suffer from post traumatic stress, adapted for we who have fallen prey to a con-artist, bring a rapid shift. Readers who want to learn more can go to www.greatlifetechnologies.com and stay tuned for opportunities to participate in a group setting where the 8 techniques of Pure Awareness, developed by Tom Stone, will set you free. Tom and his colleagues will train me, in a group of fellow practitioners, to facilitate these techniques. Now, the choice is YOURS. Be Aware, and be safe.

CA DV funding restored, under pressure

2009-10-22T22:22:00.000-07:00

On October 21, 2009 CA Gov. Schwarzenegger signed SBX3 13 restoring $16.3 million for domestic violence shelters and emergency programs, under public and media scrutiny. Schwarzenegger said he "was proud to sign the bi-partisan legislation" which state legislators put in front of him only after he slashed the entire budget ($500 million) for all programs funded under the state's Department of Public Health. The new legislation provides $16.3 million of funds the governor had allocated to his Alternative Fuel Fund be BORROWED with interest, so that domestic violence shelters and emergency programs can be minimally sustained for 2009-10.

My shelter affiliates tell me they anticipate in effect, approximately 70% of the State operating funds in comparison to 2008-09. I've been watching and listening closely. These shelters are doing an excellent job in tightening their belts without sacrificing client services (at least here in LA where they are supplemented by public support...not so much in rural CA).

It has warmed my heart to see the generosity of individuals, making contributions and organizing events NOW, more than ever, when shelters need community support. Not only the celebrities who get plenty of exposure for their good deeds, which are most welcome and appreciated...but also the community members and board members who are quietly making an incredible difference and who have kept shelters open in many parts of our state when there was NO state money allocated. These are the leaders I am proud to serve. This is the community I am proud to serve.

On 10/23, on the steps of the Los Angeles City Hall, Activists unite in a Call to Action, spearheaded by Eve Ensler, of Vagina Monologues fame. We will stand together, invoking First Amendment rights, honoring the protection and programs bought with the blood of our lost loved ones. Readers are invited back for a follow up on the Call to Action. Your conscious, positive thoughts and energy are appreciated as we seek to inspire increased public and corporate support. Our thoughts are with you and your loved ones, that each of you be aware and be safe.

First Amendment trumps Terminator

2009-10-16T17:35:00.000-07:00

On October 23, 2009 at 9AM in Los Angeles, activists unite, invoking our first amendment rights in protest of Gov. Schwarzenegger's "muscle-bound veto" slashing funds for programs under the California Department of Public Health. Spearheading this V-Day CALL TO ACTION, is Eve Ensler of Vagina Monologues fame. Denise Brown is scheduled to participate, as well hundreds of actvists without celebrity status. I've spoken personally with Denise; we share outrage regarding our governor's knife-wielding justification that "cuts have to be made".

Governor Schwarzenegger's video added insult to injury, and as Eve Ensler stated in the Huffington Post, "has always had contempt for the vulnerable". Nearing the end of his term, his approval rating sinks to 28%. See article the terminator is back by Eve Ensler. Join me and other activists in protest, honoring past progress bought with the blood of countless homicide victims. Family members and stakeholders have vowed lost lives will not be in vain. Although many are supporting numerous events this Domestic Violence Awareness Month, we gather together to stand in protest... infusing positive energy to restore life-saving programs. Remember the national hotline is available to serve YOU at 1-800-799-SAFE. Be aware and Be safe. YOU are loved; your comments are always welcome.

PTSD...(for me,) A Blessing?

2009-10-06T16:00:00.000-07:00

Many who experience extreme violence (domestic violence, gang violence, etc) or other traumatic events are seemingly haunted by those experiences. Physically, I appear pretty well healed from my ordeal. Those who know me personally are amazed I seem to "compartmentalize" so effectively. It's not that I'm tough as nails, although I do relate to the addage "What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger." Yet in recognizing I'm the exception, not the rule, in order to best understand and advocate for people who are in or leaving abusive environments, it was time to get some knowledge about Post Traumatic Stress... One of my angels at CEO Space works with Great Life Technologies, extending highly effective techniques to returning veterans. (www.greatlifetechnologies.com) Presently, they are training people to use these techniques and training trainers. Concurrently, they are exploring how to adapt these techniques for people who have experienced domestic violence. I was privileged to sit in on a training in Carlsbad on 10/3.

Realizing how well I was able to compartmentalize, I refused to even be assessed for PTS after my own ordeal. Incorrectly, I perceived it as some sort of mental illness and was unwilling to accept such a diagnosis, nor the drugs I thought would be perscribed, or the excuse for why my goals hadn't yet been accomplished.

The training, provided by Tom Stone, was experiential. Without enlisting the therapist in my "story", through a series of techniques, I experienced my own breakthrough! I went to learn how to help others. Perhaps my most important lesson...heal thyself first.

My own detachment from being held captive and tortured is not unlike detachment I've felt throughout my life in other areas. That detachment and ability to compartmentalize may have saved my life...or at least, my sanity. In a matter of a few hours, alternating between just a few simple techniques, Tom and his team enlightened me. Torture under captivity was not my first trauma. Detachment and compartmentalization were coping mechanisms ingrained during those pre-verbal first months of life. Surrendered at birth and adopted at just over 3 months of age, a type of separation-anxiety manifested. Perhaps at a time, this anxiety served me well. I believe this is common among adoptees. Adoptees often worry they will be perceived as disloyal or ungrateful, often we are uncomfortable to even speak these feelings. Adoptive parents, this IS NOT a reflection on YOU!

Thanks to BarBara, Tom and their gang at Great Life Technologies, I'm now in the process of integrating the contents of all those compartments for a richer, more fulfilling life...a life more relatable to others, with a higher capacity to serve others. Now, not only as an advocate for domestic violence awareness, also as an advocate for anyone who has survived a traumatic experience. (laterally thinking) Integrate and embrace every aspect and experience of your life, it's all part of what makes YOU unique, with unique gifts to offer. YOUR experiences and comments are always welcome here. As we learn and grow together, YOU are important, YOU are loved.

3rd Annual National Day of Remembrance

2009-09-26T11:17:00.000-07:00

September 25th is the day set aside each year to honor those lives lost due to homicide. Many resulting from domestic violence, gang violence, and includes fallen police officers. Tributes across the country honored those lost and brought families together to comfort one another. I had the privilege of attending one of the largest ceremonies in the country, in downtown Los Angeles, then driving to Ventura County to experience their more intimate memorial. Each touched my heart deeply, in different ways yet with common elements. Overwhelming for me, as a survivor of attempted murder, was that I had the privilege to be there...that my family members weren't there remembering my life. In Los Angeles and Oxnard, I was able to connect with less fortunate families honoring their loved ones. I had the opportunity to meet Dr. Henry Nicholas, III who co-authored and was instrumental in the passage of Marsy's KLaw, the Crime Victims Bill of Rights.
Humbly, he says call me Nick. Since his sister was murdered in 1983 in an upscale SoCal neighborhood, he and his family have made the crime victims bill of rights their live's work.
Nick explained that his sister's killer was released on bail pending trial (their family was not notified) and his mother encountered the killer in the grocery store!When previously the only victim's right was restitution...thanks to Marsy's Law, in California we have the right to be informed and participate in hearings. A movement underway for ratification of a national constitutional amendment, "Nick" is leading the charge...physically and financially. Visit www.MarsysLAWforALL.org for additonal information.
Among other speakers included Cal. Attorney General Jerry Brown, Sheriff Lee Baca, LAPD Police Chief Jim McDonald. Family members carried signs with pictures of fallen loved ones, hundreds of pairs of shoes lined the stage. The ceremony concluded with a release of doves and families marching thru the plaza behind the courthouse at Temple/Grand. Sadly, so many were acknowledged, reading the roster of those honored was lengthy and did not allow for connection with each family's story. In addition to Marsys Law, other non-profit organizations present included Parents of Murdered Children, Women Against Gun Violence, Drive By Agony, Friends & Families of Murder Victims, Justice for Homicide Victims, Loved Ones Healing Center, Crime Stoppers (annonymous tip line), Unity and Peace (Scholarship Fund) and countless government agencies. The impact and scope of this event was staggering.
In Ventura County, the event was coordinated by Parents of Murdered Children. In this community entire families came out to honor their loved ones. Each homicide victim was individually honored, not just by a reading of their names. Each family who experienced loss due to homicide, released a dove in their memory followed by a big-screen movie collage highlighting each life lost. Denise Brown (sister of Nicole Brown Simpson) spoke of her loss, which is classified as an unsolved homicide. Denise spoke about the first time she met OJ Simpson and her sister's 17 year relationship with him. As sisters, Denise and Nicole were extremely tight; still Nicole didn't confide in Denise. Nicole did keep journals, found after her murder, describing her 17 year horror. Denise spoke about the teachings she provided her son and Nicole's children to break the cycle of violence. Brown's close long-time friend, Denise Ballester, serves as Executive Director to the Nicole Brown Foundation. The organization is focusing on delivering education and program services moreso than granting funds to other non-profit organizations. I look forward to working closely with Denise Brown and Denise Ballester to raise funds and awareness for prevention of domestic violence.
Throughout the day, it was absolutely evident those most active in the movement are not simply doing their jobs, they and their families are stakeholders for life. The price paid in blood of their lost loved ones, these mothers, sisters, fathers, brothers, sons and daughters dedicate their lives to making a difference. As a survivor of attempted murder, my own horrific experience cannot even come close to theirs. My day concluded in deep humility and gratitude. I look forward to building the heartfelt connections made 9/25/09 and how I may support their valiant efforts. EVERY LIFE MATTERS. WE WILL NOT FORGET. BE AWARE and BE SAFE. YOU are loved...consider yourself hugged.

California sacrifices ounce of prevention...$500 million

2009-09-24T12:36:00.000-07:00

Current economic challenges have forced difficult choices. Los Angeles City Attorney Eve Sheedy says "When you take the cost of arresting, trying and incarcerating for serious physical crime and homicide, and comparing it to shelters, we're getting an unbelievable cost benefit." Although state budgets are tight, only a handful of states recommended cuts to domestic violence prevention programs. Sadly, California was one of thosse states. Our legislators approved a 20% cut across the board to programs funded by the Department of Public Health. Not just speaking figuratively here, I'm embarrased our governor ADDED INSULT TO INJURY by invoking line item veto completely slashing state funding for all Dept. of Public Health programs...FIVE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS. That was California's share in the ounce of prevention!
While families impacted pay the human costs, and the costs Ms. Sheedy spoke of in terms of arrest, trial and incarceration cannot be accurately measured, according to the National Institute on Domestic Violence, the cost to the US Workplace is 67 Billion dollars annually. These costs include 1,750,000 lost work days, tardiness, loss of productivity and 5 billion in direct medical costs. Of that 67 billion dollar annual cost, we can only imagine California's share is. This isn't rocket science...California's percentage of the national economy is significant. Obviously its multiple billions. Sue Else, President of the National Network to End Domestic Violence called our governor's action "RECKLESS".
Eliminating California's share in the ounce of prevention will have a ripple effect on the cost of the pound of cure, in California and across the country for years to come. Like many other states, California has achieved a reduction in crime statistics resulting from dv since Nicole Brown Simpson's execution brought awareness to the forefront. Progress achieved was bought with BLOOD, with the stroke of a pen, California's light and example fade under the guise of budget.
Shelters are left scrambling for funding from foundations and private contributors to keep their doors open. Several have already closed, dozens more are teetering on the brink of closure. Since August 7th, 6 victims with 8 children have been turned away in Madera County where the only option for these moms and their traumatized children is the local resuce mission, which houses mostly single men and offers NO protection.
Now more than ever, the non-profit organizations operating shelters need community support. Fortunately, California is not one of the states that considers domestic violence a pre-existing condition in terms of insurance. Employee Assistance programs can be enhanced to include prevention programs, just as they serve those overcoming drug, alcohol or gambling addictions. Survivor On A Mission is working with under-funded shelter partners to assist corporations in making these enhancements. As they extend their expertise and services (for which they cannot advertise) they will be compensated by corporate fees funneled back to participating, advising agencies.
Survivor On A Mission seeks strategy and sequencing expertise to deliver and refine valuable service to California at this most critical time in our history. September 25th is the 3rd Annual National Day of Remembrance, honoring lives lost through homicide. Memorial events are taking place across the country. In Los Angeles, join me at 500 W. Temple in the Plaza area behind the Hall of Administration at 11AM. Your positive thoughts and energy are appreciated. Awareness is the first step in safety. The National DV Hotline is available to answer your questions at 1-800-799-SAFE.

Susan Murphy Milano's Journal: A Walk For A Life Lost!

2009-09-15T08:46:00.000-07:00

Susan Murphy Milano's Journal: A Walk For A Life Lost!

Just SMILE...law of attraction

2009-09-09T14:33:00.000-07:00

The SMILE Program provides cosmetic reconstructive services to those disfigured as a result of domestic violence. Across the country, highly trained experts volunteer their services, based on referral by domestic violence advocates. My advocate, Emily Elting, continues to be an absolute angel to me. When I was medically stable enough to leave Washington State, I was still pretty scarry to look at. The SMILE Program Emily referred me to is without boundaries. I came home to California, prepared to drive wherever necessary for the cosmetic reconstruction. "There are so many doctors volunteering in Southern California," I was told, so I thought ok, I'll see if there are any in my area code...310. The law of attraction delivered nationally reknown Dr. Andrew Frankel, from the Lasky Clinic in Beverly Hills. Over the past three years, Dr. Frankel's amazing and skillful work restored my smile. Today, I was in his office for a follow-up visit. After multiple rounds of skin grafting, including harvested tissue from a most intimate donor site, I can drink without a straw and keep food in my mouth while eating. Dr. Frankel recommended me to Elizabeth Hanratty who is enfusing color into the grafted tissue so my lips appear more natural. She has completed 2 of the 3 procedures. After her final enfusion, Dr. Frankel will inject fillers to my lips and the surrounding areas that were once stitched together.

The Survivor On A Mission website should be up shortly with my downloadable poetry collection. Following the interview with Cassie Parks on the Law of Attraction radio network, Cassie allowed me to fill out the time block reading my copyrighted poetry collection. About 2/3 through is a poem entitled "JUST SMILE". The pure gratitude I felt towards Dr. Frankel, and all my many doctors, attracted consistent outstanding skill demonstrated in my radiant new smile.

Law of Attraction interview

2009-09-07T12:01:00.000-07:00

It was this survivors distinct privilege to be interviewed by the enlightened Cassie Parks for her internet radio program at http://loaradionetwork.com/cassie-parks.html The interview will be streaming from 9/8/09 at 6PM for one week, then available thru archive. In my journey from SURVIVE to THRIVE, I became a serious student of personal development and the law of attraction. My readers, family and friends frequently find it difficult to accept that we draw people, circumstances and events into our lives based on our thought given to them...EVEN the horrible aspects. In my interview with Cassie, I discuss how I came to accept my role in attracting my ordeal as a necessary part of my purpose on this earth. Now my thoughts are much more intentional. Do you believe things just happen to you...outside of your control. If this is what you believe, it is your truth. Consider instead adopting a philosophy that YOU are the master of your destiny and that the universe will deliver the necessary elements for you to achieve your desires. Indeed, the universe will respond to your fears and worries, if that is where YOUR head is. Keep your mind focussed on your values and desires, for yourself, your community, and our world. Put yourself to sleep considering all you have to be grateful for in your life. In slumber, this attitude of appreciation sets your vibrational energy for the next day. Envision our world in complete harmony, envision laughter and joy. If your day was less than delightful, recall instead a perfect day. Sweet dreams, and stay tuned. Your comments add value, so please chime in with your thoughts. I Love YOU!

Unequal States - Chapter 2

2009-09-03T22:56:00.000-07:00

Most are stunned to learn that in four states, domestic violence injuries are not reported to police. In GEORGIA, OKLAHOMA, NEBRASKA, and WASHINGTON STATE, basic protection we take for granted in the rest of the country does not exist. In plotting the course for Survivor On A Mission, I felt advocating for consistency in state laws would be successful once media and the public understood the implications. It was me who didn't understand...it's not that simple. Looking at Washington State, cities lack DV ordinances...as a result there is no budget for their enforcement. Much progress is needed before legislation can truly benefit those most deserving. Progress is brutal and slow. In May 2008 Babs Roznowski paid with her life. Her assailant, Paul Kim, was served with an order of protection by Federal Way Washington Police who left him in the home with Roznowski. As reported in the Daily Breeze, just hours later she was found stabbed to death. Roznowski's daughters (coincidentally South Bay residents) Janet Loh and Carola Washburn have filed a multi-million dollar suit against Federal Way Police for failure to follow protocol. Send positive energy that Bab's lost life won't be in vain...that law enforcement steps up to provide the protection residents of all states deserve. As I've spoken with social workers and advocates in Seattle and Tacoma in the past week and over the four years since my escape...these dedicated workers who quietly bear the brunt of the failed system in a state where few injured dare to prosecute...and you can see why! Readers comments and ideas are welcome. Be Aware and keep those you love safe. I LOVE YOU.

Chris Brown to receive 1 yr of dv counseling with probation

2009-08-25T22:38:00.000-07:00

R & B celebrity Chris Brown has been sentenced to 5 years probation for his grammy night assault on Rihanna; performing manual labor as community service, Brown will also participate for one year in a counseling/treatment program to assist him in breaking the cycle of violence he witnessed as a youth. Children and teens who witness family violence that is not comprehensively addressed often mature to adults who victimize or are victimized. Across the country, shelter programs recognize and seek to intervene with specialized counseling services and programs. Children as young as 3 years of age participate in art programs and a wide variety of therapeutic treatments to assist them in developing healthy values and behaviors.

Onlookers often consider families in shelter in dire straights. They are in fact, on their way up. Provided with support systems, relationship counseling, value mapping and behavior modifications, they address family issues proactively. Children benefit from the improved stability and are far less likely to repeat the cycle of abuse. More dangerous to our communities, are the families who quietly accept the violence considering what happens behind closed doors to be private. Children in these homes are conditioned to keep the silence and are highly predisposed to repeat the cycle. Remember, SILENCE HIDES THE VIOLENCE. Call the National Domestic Violence hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE for advice on how to best support a child or family in need. We will never know if proper counseling in childhood may have broken the cycle of violence sooner in Chris Brown's family. Under media spotlight, may he be encouraged to embrace the counseling and services to effectively and permanently change his behaviors. We're pulling for you, Chris, and for improved safety in our homes and communities.

Staggering statistics...still widely under-reported

2009-08-23T10:20:00.000-07:00

One of 4 women report domestic or sexual abuse in their lifetimes. While that statistic is appauling, still it is grossly under-reported by women and men. Women are sometimes the batterers. And countless men with great respect for their mothers and and women in general, strongly hold values they will not hit a woman even if triggered. Each person deserves to be treated with dignity and respect. Men, if you are in a relationship with a woman who is physically abusive towards you...LEAVE and stay away until she gets treatment. Your quiet toleration is a dis-service to you and your partner. Speak out to break the cycle and the violence. Even more widely un-reported, it is nearly impossible to gauge the extent of physical abuse at the hands of adult women.

Women who are abused are unlikely to admit it, even if you ask her. Even if she is your sister or your best friend. There are many reasons for this...most correlate to the shame of a battered woman. We don't tell family and friends. We don't prosecute, and the abuse doesn't stop.

While abuse is active, the abuser uses various emotional leverage to keep the abused quiet. In my case, my abuser convinced me that if I spoke against him, that put whoever I spoke to at risk. Not only would I face further torture, others who knew his truth would be subject to intimidation and threats against themselves and those they loved. While in the midst of abuse, WE BELIEVE our abusers have this power over us.

Perhaps more frequently, we think if only we can get out of the situation... without fully realizing the abuser will move onto his next prey without intervention. Admittedly, the prosecution process is tedious, strenuous, and incredibly difficult at times. Only with prosecution/intervention is their an opportunity to break the cycle. Again, without intervention an abuser will continue mistreating others until he/she is stopped.

Four states lack basic reporting and protection: WASHINGTON, GEORGIA, NEBRASKA, and OKLAHOMA. In these four states, abuse is even more likely to go unreported because even if an individual arrives in the emergency room with a gunshot or knife wound sustained in a domestic incident, POLICE are not mandated to respond!

I hope readers are outraged! The basic Survivor On A Mission website will be operating within a couple weeks and will include sample letters/e-mails and addresses to representatives in the four states that deserve reporting consistent with the rest of the country. Readers, please forward this link to people you know and love in these four states. Your assistance in mobilizing an army of advocates will make an important difference. In the meantime, do remember the National Hotline has trained staff continuously available to answer your questions at 1-800-799-SAFE. Your comments are always welcome...your thoughts and experiences add value to this blog. I LOVE YOU. BE SAFE!

Signature Product under development

2009-08-13T22:47:00.000-07:00

Blessed with some of the finest coaches, mentors and advisors to expand my vision while keeping focused on short term production, this week came an AH-HAW moment. Its a joy and a privilege to build relationships with my shelter partners. Through these shelter partners, I'll have the opportunity to educate and inspire. Longterm goals for SURVIVOR ON A MISSION are beyond ambitious. Meeting early benchmarks is important in building momentum. Having escaped and surviving extreme domestic violence, I found myself completely disabled physically, emotionally, financially, and legally. Every relationship was alienated. Post trauma, from ground zero, I had to re-design my life. Every problem is a door to opportunity. Transcending these problems has made me an expert of sorts, in the journey from SURVIVE to THRIVE, Life Re-Designed, Post-Trauma. That journey, in lecture series, will inspire hope in the woman who is just entering or considering entering a shelter, to women's groups, community groups, and members of religious communities. Developing this series will allow this Survivor's experience to inspire others in a meaningful way in the short run. For live lectures, content will be tailored specific to each audience. Examples include: Under emotional control of a sociopath /Effects of witnessing family violence on young children / Corellatiom between spousal abuse and child abuse / Corellation between animal abuse and child abuse / Breaking the cycle / Financial abuse / Sexual abuse / Emotional Abuse / Safety planning / supporting one who is actively battered / Cultural sensitivity & awareness. My shelter partners are supporting the series and look forward to providing it to their clients. Your comments or questions are always welcome. If you or someone you care about is being abused, the National DV Hotline awaits your call at 1-800-799-SAFE. I LOVE YOU!

Spotting the con

2009-08-06T19:37:00.000-07:00

With as many as 12 million sociopaths roaming America, its only a matter of time until we cross paths. Certainly not all abusers are sociopaths although many are. Accomplished con artists frequently follow a recipe of sorts as they seek to exploit vulnerability. This posting will focus on what traits they seek in identifying their next mark, and the steps or recipe they often follow to hook us in our most vulnerable moment. (1) If you are lonely or isolated, you have a target on your back. (2) Do you generally accept what people tell you, believing they are basically good? There are exceptions. (3) You are honest and trustworthy; you take obligations seriously and wouldn't take advantage of another. You don't see it coming when a sociopath takes advantage of you. (4) Sociopaths easily spot nurturing women who have a need to help others. If you look for goodness, overlooking faults, WATCH OUT. (5) You are loyal and committed, staying the course even when you make a mistake. A sociopath will bleed you til there's nothing left. These are just some of the traits that make you especially vulnerable. Do you or someone you love have these traits and if so, what indicators are RED FLAGS? (A) The con artist uses flattery. If someone you just met overwhelms you with praise, attention and concern, BE WARY! (B) In the beginning, con artists honor their commitments to build trust; they appear to help unselfishly until you drop your guard. (C) Slowly the con artist will separate you from those who would question their plan, often intercepting phone calls from family or friends. They insist on alone time with you rather than interacting with others while convincing you they are your strongest ally. In my case, ALL OF THE ABOVE were true. BEWARE and BE AWARE. Share your comments and experiences to enrich content. I LOVE YOU!

States of Protection

2009-08-03T20:55:00.000-07:00

I find many are shocked to learn the extreme variances in state protection laws. Especially here in my home state of California, which has the strongest protection in the country. California and Kentucky are the only states that specifically require injuries caused by domestic violence to be reported. Eight states require reporting of non-accidental or intentional injuries to law enforcement; these states are Alaska, California, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Michigan, Ohio, and Pennsylvania. 18 States, including California also have legislation mandating reporting of injuries caused by criminal conduct. Most shocking is the list of states that mandate reporting for injuries caused by firearms, stab or knife wounds, injuries caused with deadly weapons and burns...45 states and the District of Columbia require this but importantly there is virtually no protection in these 4 states where not even a gunshot wound summons authorities...(Kentucky has specific legislation for reporting) GEORGIA, NEBRASKA, OKLAHOMA, and WASHINGTON. If you love someone who lives in or travels to one of these five states, know they are at risk. My own ordeal in Washington State appauls many who are under the impression that federal laws would mandate reporting. It does not. Each state adopts its own legislation/reporting requirements. Please assist in getting out the word, and comment if you have contacts in these five states who may assist in legislative advocacy efforts or potential media contacts in these states. BE SAFE. I LOVE YOU.

Chris Brown takes responsibility

2009-07-27T19:34:00.000-07:00

Traveling much of the past couple weeks, its been difficult to keep up on current events. Thanks to my friend, Drew, who called to advise me of today's update on the Chris Brown-Rihanna case. After reading the interviews and watching video clips...all of which was undoubtedly scripted...this survivor was pleased that minimally Brown did take responsibility for his actions. As readers may know, on Grammy night, Feb. 2009, Brown battered Rihanna. Some reports indicate he "choked" her, others claim he used martial arts techniques, but photos clearly indicated battering to the face. Brown (real name Robyn Fenty) recently told interviewers he witnessed domestic violence at home...his stepfather beating his mother. People who have histories of domestic abuse in their families, role modeling rage and intimidation frequently continue the cycle of abuse. Those traumatized as child witnesses are at high risk of becoming abusers themselves. READERS, please comment on experiences of families you know. In his favor, Chris Brown did not attempt to justify his behavior as reprisal for something Rihanna may or may not have done. Admittedly, intentions behind publicity are to save one's career, and as Rolling Stones Reporter "Toure" said, Brown has alot of work to overcome the perception he's evolving into the next Ike Turner. Likely Brown will have a five year suspended sentence with six months of community service in his home state of Virginia, however a judge will make final ruling on August 5, 2009. I will invite Chris Brown and Rihanna to participate in this Survivor's awareness campaign. If he did or if he didn't "choke" her, his apology in song would be a memorable PSA...so I'm plugging the opportunity to Brown's attorney, Mark Geragos and publicist, Michael Sitrick before that final sentencing. What do you think?

Touched by Angels

2009-07-19T13:57:00.000-07:00

After four hot days in Phoenix, this survivor was delighted to be home to participate in the once monthly gathering of the Touched by Angels group that meets in Redondo Beach. Tho I've got a week of business in Henderson, NV, having 36 hours at home, to re-fuel in the company of this incredible group, and enjoy ocean breezes. How many times in your life, do you remember thinking some sort of devine intervention spared your life or serious grief? Or perhaps a friend or family member shared their experience with you. Angels surround us in all we do. I'm inviting my readers to reflect and share their experiences. My dear long time friend, Nancy, told me decades ago about her angel intervention. Held in the clutches of evil, I remembered her angels and summoned them to my rescue. Next week, this blog will get down to business. YOUR COMMENTS and feedback add value. Thank you for your support, and remember the national hotline is available 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE. I LOVE YOU!

Taping for A & E's "I SURVIVED" series

2009-07-13T21:49:00.000-07:00

While Rita (who is assisting with the blog) enjoys a well deserved vacation with her family this week, I ask readers indulgence while for format is cleaned up on this blog. We're moving to a more abstract, colorful image. This surviver is on the move the next couple weeks, so there will be fewer posts until August. Today, however, I had the privilege of being interviewed in Van Nuys studios for A & E's "I survived" series. My story is sooo big, its challenging to edit it down to that format. My 3 hour interview will be cut down to a 10 minute segment. Given those confines, many elements could not even be addressed, which I feel will leave viewers scratching their heads...I'm curious to see what makes it out of the editing room. Last week, this survivor was interviewed by Tracy Pattin, for Sizzle in the Middle. You can see that interview on U-tube at www.youtube.com/wetch/v=OYNeOCO_Ops and I encourage readers to post your comments or questions. It is YOUR feedback, your questions and comments that help me to provide valuable content. A & E couldn't let me mention my website. I requested they publish the website and phone number for the National DV Hotline on the screen when the segment aired... they cannot, but the producer said she hoped they would not edit out my mention of the hotline and 1-800-799-SAFE. Its all about the awareness. Thank you for your support. I LOVE YOU.

Survivor On A Mission Interview

2009-07-09T17:50:00.000-07:00

Today it was this survivor's privilege to be interviewed by the fabulous Tracy Pattin for her internet program, Sizzle in The Middle. Typically topics involve mid-life adventures or transformations. I admitted to Tracy, I'm pretty green when it comes to talking about my story. Until sentencing, I was advised to say very little. With taping for A & E's "I Survived" biography series scheduled for Monday, this opportunity to begin working thru my camera-shyness was much appreciated. Tracy is a delightful host. She set me at ease, and re-taped so I could capture what didn't flow as I responded to her questions. Tho I'm a bit challenged, technically speaking, the U-Tube video will be imbedded to this blog ASAP. Presently, it is available through my Facebook page. For the purposes of this interview, Tracy focussed on how I rebuilt my live following trauma with just a hint of the escape, and none of the torture during captivity. I'd like my readers to comment on the U-Tube "Sizzle in the Middle"...your feedback will improve my delivery to relate to more people. Your help plays in important role in the awareness campaign. AND I LOVE YOU!

UNEQUAL risk for abuse

2009-07-08T22:06:00.000-07:00

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline, domestic violence is best defined as a pattern of abusive and controlling behavior than one partner uses against another in an intimate relationship. It includes physical, sexual and verbal abuse, economic coercion and other intimidating behaviors. Women I've spoken with (and a few abused men, too) have confided in their experiences what begins as verbal abuse develops into a complex repetoire. Further, according to the NDVH, while people of all races, ages, ethnicities and socio-economic status are affected, research indicates young women in poverty are at the highest risk. In part, this is because calling police, obtaining protective orders, or pursuing criminal charges DO NOT address the financial realities of living with violence. Women who live in povery know leaving an abusive partner may be the tipping point into homelessness and an inability to protect their children. Two decades of working with social services has exposed me to thousands of abused women and children; my observation that women stay for financial reasons more than fear for safety or other reasons. I would like readers to comment on their experiences, or people they know who have been in abusive relationships and why they stayed or what indicators led them to get out. Visit www.NDVH.org or call 1-800-799-SAFE for information on keeping those you love safe.

Retracing Steps of a Serial Offender

2009-07-06T10:26:00.000-07:00

One of the goals of SurvivorOnAMission.com (under development) is to retrace the path of Darren Woodley, my assailant, who is now serving a 30 year sentence at Walla Walla. Even before the site is launched, I am aware of other ladies this demon has offended over the past two decades. Unprosecuted for years, his pattern apparent; strangulation is his M.O. and he seems to place himself in the medical arena where he "shops for his next mark". The King County (Seattle, WA) Prosecution team and other of Woodley's victims I've spoken with concur he has likely offended dozens if not hundreds of ladies and/or minors during the past two decades. While his DNA has been collected for comparison in unsolved cases, we believe others will come foreward with the knowledge Woodley is safely confined and poses no further threat to those assaulted or their families. Sadly, we believe Woodley has left corpses in his wake...most probably victims of strangulation, preceded by rape. I'll admit the legal processes and delays were difficult at best. Had I not filed a complaint and followed through like his victims that preceeded me, this animal would be stalking his next victim...maybe someone YOU know. While I sympathize with those who just want to move on and forget it, the abuser will strike again! Once a pattern of physical violence and sexual abuse is established, expect it to recurr. Just this weekend I spoke with a lady who told me how she narrowly escaped two separate rape attempts in her teen, never prosecuting. I'd like my readers to comment about their experiences or if they know of family/friends who have declined to prosecute sexual or physical assaults...Please, YOUR feedback adds value to this site! With the help from the National DV Hotline and/or local agencies, take action to break the cycle of the abuser while standing up for what you know is right for yourself, your family, and your community. It won't be easy, but it does feel good and there's plenty of help out there. 1-800-799-SAFE Together, we will make a difference! I'd love to hear from you. I LOVE YOU!

INDEPENDENCE DAY: Recollections of 7/4/05

2009-07-04T10:56:00.000-07:00

CONTROL is the key element in abusive relationships, even or especially when the abusive partner has serious mental issues. Since I had nothing to hide, initially I went along with his extreme "monitoring" rationalizing it would lead to building trust. Once I began to secumb to him, to give him my power, he took more...until he took it all. I escaped Darren Woodley on May 31, 2005. After a month in the hospital, I was discharged to a respiratory rehab facility where I learned to breathe, eat, and regain range of motion. Even under this voluntary "institutionalization" I felt the promise of INDEPENDENCE. Indeed it was strange to spend 5 months in what most would call a nursing home, a facility few would leave to regain a somewhat normal life. Most would consider it depressing to visit there, and far isolated from family and friends, only my bio-mom and Aunt Sandy visited me at Bel Aire (Tacoma Washington). Many staff there saw in me, the spark of one who would regain. They told me they saw angels at my bedside, guarding me while I slept. They believed in me, protected and inspired me. I'm still in contact with some of these amazing people and delight in reminding them how important their encouragement, belief and support was. Now four years into the power reclamation journey, with the sentencing complete, with freedom I can finally speak out. COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT of Woodley, yet blessed by the lessons learned. This Fourth of July, you may have concerns for someone who seems to be under the control of another...someone who is isolated and not participating or enjoying festivities as they did previously. Be watchful, mindful. Tho its likely when asked, they will protect their abuser with excuses that don't make sense, remember the National DV Hotline awaits your call. YOUR caring makes all the difference. 1-800-799-SAFE. Have a safe and Fabulous Fourth of July. I LOVE YOU!

Sustainable Structure

2009-07-02T14:35:00.000-07:00

While the SurvivorOnAMission website is under development, this blog provides constantly changing internet portal. By bringing violence awareness to the forefront and building strong strategic alliances, this survivor will draw upon professional training and personal experience to promote a pilot safety net system for those at risk of physical violence. To provide the greatest value to readers, it seems a loose structure might make for more efficient archiving. I expect to make 6-8 blog entries weekly. At least one entry will be a current event reflection. One entry will include statistics and awareness tips. One entry will be of appreciation/thankfullness. One will highlight potential or established collaborators. One about unexpected connections. At least one entry will be like a journal, or chronicle of the steps from concept to manifestation. Likely once a month, I'll blog about an incredible Angel Group that meets in Redondo Beach. We get to know each others angels and collectively ask angel blessings for those who will benefit from angel intervention. I shared with the group that while hospitalized, workers told me they saw angels at my bedside. Surviving a fatal injury, the legalities...on behalf of all the angels that infused me along this journey, I OWE a huge return on investment. Please share your feedback and comments so that this blog and soon to accompany website deliver the value you deserve. Remember 1-800-799-SAFE and I Love YOU!

"I SURVIVED" Preliminaries

2009-07-01T11:54:00.000-07:00

Today I had the privilege of meeting Marina DeLima, Producer with A&E's "I Survived" Biography series. While she travels quite extensively, this New Yorker appeared to be delighted to plan this 4th of July in the South Bay. Marina's cameraman colleague (I'm ashamed to admit I forgot his name that began with a D...as I do routinely since "Darren Woodley" attempted to kill me) would be headed to Washington for his next assignment. Marina is masterful in breaking down what seems sooooo big in my minds eye, to something palatable. The next stage will be completed in Van Nuys or Burbank studio in a couple weeks. KUDOS to A&E for using my story to bring awareness to family violence...it's not always what it appears. Tho this episode won't air til early next year, powerful momentum is building...join me, in invoking angels, that through awareness the safety net will manifest and protect those we love and those who need it most. Visit the website for the National Domestic Violence Hotline at www.NDVH.org or call 1-800-799-SAFE, the National 24-hr hotline in the US.

Last steps of cosmetic recovery

2009-06-29T15:32:00.000-07:00

Acclaimed Beverly Hills plastic surgeon, Dr. Andrew Frankel, did a spectacular job with cosmetic reconstruction. Actually, that is an understatement, because when he began, my mouth wasn't even fully functional. I could only drink through a straw and had trouble keeping saliva and food inside. Preliminary skin grafting done in Seattle was just the beginning. Dr. Frankel performed two more rounds of skin grafting among the many procedures to re-design a functional, cosmetically cohesive mouth. Dr. Sergio O'Campo from Imperial Dental in LaMirada provided veneer teeth, then Dr. Frankel spent 3 years reconstructing me. Cutting edge procedures were implemented to match the tone of skin flesh. The finishing touches are now being performed by the fabulous ELizabeth Hanratty, a professional working with Dr. Lancer (Beverly Hills Dermatologist) to infuse permanent cosmetic make-up. Through a series of procedures, Elizabeth Hanratty is defining my lipline. In some places, she's turning scarred white tissue to pink, in other spots, she's turning grafted pink tissue back to caucasian flesh tones. It looks pretty extreme the first week or so, but Elizabeth Hanratty is putting the finishing touches on Dr. Frankel's masterful work and I am bursting with thankfulness and appreciation for them among the dozen who have contributed towards my medical recovery. There's more than a little bit of love from each one of them, woven into the very fabric of the better ME! Here in the US, the Smile program provides cosmetic reconstruction to survivors of domestic violence (to those who prosecute) as coordinated by domestic violence advocates in each jurisdiction. In my case, that was the incredible Emily Elting, who handles felony cases in King County. I could write an entire blog just about all the amazing support Emily provided, and look forward to sharing snipets on future blogs. Til then, be safe, and remember the National Hotline awaits your call at 1-800-799-SAFE. I LOVE YOU!

Consider the Un-Obvious

2009-06-28T12:31:00.000-07:00

Many people's perception of women in abusive relationships is based on what they see in the news or happen to observe in public. These misperceptions may be deadly. Batterers frequently seek victims who are week, passive, co-dependent...especially those who seem to attract the cycle in their lives. Almost daily, I'm approached by a strong, independent lady (occassionally a man) who sheepishly admits their experience from years, even decades ago, that they kept to themselves. They did not report the crime, often they didn't even tell a best friend or family member. Often, these are strong, professional people who one would never expect. Abusers are often preditors, on the hunt for ladies at a vulnerable point in their lives...typically astute, strong women who in a weak moment fall prey. While we are far less likely to fall into the cycle of relationships with batterers, we are perhaps the most unexpected victims. So be on the lookout for indicators. Isolation is the primary indicator. While frequently the isolation is geographic, it often starts with monitored or controlled phone communication. If you suspect someone you love may be in trouble, call the National DV Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE and stay tuned in to learn how YOU CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE!

Tho widely UNreported, STATISTICS are staggering...

2009-06-27T12:30:00.000-07:00

The National Domestic Violence Hotline issued their Decade for Change Summit Report in 2007 indicating that one in four U.S. women have been physically raped or physically assaulted by an intimate partner, compared to one in 14 men. Additionally, women were 7-14 times more likely to report an intimate partner beat them, choked them, tried to drown them or threatened them with a gun. Further, "while conflicts exist in many relationships, domestic violence is less about conflict than it is about the need to control one's partner." "Broken bones and blackened eyes may be the most visible signs of domestic violence, but the threats and intimidation that go on behind closed doors help support the violence". This survivors personal experience is absolutely consistent. Especially in isolation, battered women are brainwashed to accept that somehow our actions triggered the violence. YOUR PARTNERS REACTION is his responsibility (whether you undercooked the peas or truly made a mis-step). Remember the National Hotline is always available at 1-800-799-SAFE or visit www.NDVH.org I LOVE YOU!

Blue Ribbon Day at Toastmasters

2009-06-26T16:28:00.000-07:00

Stepping out of Silence, Toastmasters was an obvious first step. For those who don't know, Toastmasters is an International Organization that develops public speaking skills. Novice members give what is called an icebreaker, where they introduce themselves to the group in a 5-7 minute speech. In the course of the meeting, often there is one icebreaker in the mix of informative, humorous, and pursuasive speaches as well as tall tales by speakers of varied experience (many with several years, even decades of experience). Each speech is evaluated based on specific criteria and a blue ribbon awarded for the best speech, overall. As I embark on this journey, stepping out of silence, likely I took this speech more seriously than most. I included one of my copywritten poems as an overview of my dark journey. The feedback I received from these amazing, accomplished speakers fuels my enthusiasm to refine and deliver a message I feel so passionately about. My TM Mentor, Heidi Swan, is an actress who has done community service work for Sojourner, one of the local DV providers, and is coaching me in retelling my story. Heidi will likely be a future guest-blogger as well. Once I see the tape, I'll decide about posting it on U-Tube or perhaps on my website. Stay tuned. I LOVE YOU!

Farrah Fawcett's Legacy

2009-06-26T14:27:00.000-07:00

Heartfelt condolences to Farrah's family and friends for their loss; may she now rest in peace, immortalized to a great extent by the roles she played. This survivor genuinely relates to Farrah's character in her 1984 "THE BURNING BED" where she played a battered woman who killed her husband in self defense. Recalling that story, while I was experiencing the torture in my real life did occassionally spark my consideration to oft my captor/assailaint. In my seriously reduced physical condition, I doubted my ability to overcome one much stronger with sharper senses. I feared if I was not successful, he would surely kill me and maybe my mother as well. The Burning Bed brought awareness to the forefront, as did the dramatization of Ike & Tina Turner's true story. Celebrities have the opportunity to teach important lessons thru the roles they play. Often the true stories of non-celebrities would greatly impact the public...if they had the opportunity to hear them. Mine is just one such story. I hope to be remembered not for opening the door to disaster in my weakest moment but rather for what positive impact my cautionery tale may have in keeping awareness in the forefront. Please remember trained advocates await your call at the National Domestic Violence Hotline, 24 hours a day. Call 1-800-799-SAFE or visit www.NDVH.org

Allow me to introduce other survivors in Woodley's wake

2009-06-25T12:25:00.000-07:00

Even before the website was conceptualized, I am blessed to be in contact with two other ladies who have experienced Woodley's wrath now that he is incarcerated. Two others I am aware of, remain silent. These incredible women, both registered nurses, will guest-blog and add comment. Additionally, I'm asking my angel (KING COUNTY DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ADVOCATE) Emily to chime in. Emily was at my side from the time the US Marshall came on board in efforts to apprehend Woodley. I invite blog readers to reference the front page story from the 4/24/09 Daily Breeze (click to open) that summarizes my experience...it includes Emily's quote which I'll paraphrase: "Woodley is the first defendant I had a physical reaction to in the courtroom". This compassionate, seasoned professional was physically sickened in Woodley's presence. Of the two ladies who also survived Woodley, Mandy found me through Emily even prior to the sentencing. Heather read the Breeze article, contacted reporter Denise Nix, then found me on Facebook. Each will be invited to guest-blog, and I will extend their original content in addition to comments welcomed from each reader. Tho my case was extreme, it is no more important than any other. Remember we are survivors, NOT victims. Each survivor deserves the same genuine compassion that enveloped me after my escape. For friends and family members, learn how to support those you love even when they don't confide their situation with you...just keep loving them, and plug into the National Domestic Violence Hotline in the US at www.NDVH.org or call 1-800-799-SAFE where trained advocates are waiting to assist. Invoke angels and be blessed.

SURVIVING FATAL INJURY?

2009-06-24T12:23:00.000-07:00

Oxymoron...well, medically speaking a fractured larynx is classified as a fatal injury resulting from strangulation. The vocal chords swell up and victims lose consciousness then die. In my case, my airway was about the thickness of a thread; and once a tracheotomy was performed, I breathed through a trach for months until 80% of my vocal chords were removed by laser. Now that my assailant, Darren Woodley has been sentenced to 30 years at Walla Walla, I'm stepping out of silence to bring violence awareness to the forefront. Did you know there is a national hotline with trained advocates answering calls 24-hours a day from folks who simply don't know who to trust...1-800-799-SAFE can tell you how to help if you witness or suspect domestic violence.